I used to think that being 20 would be a hell of a time. Going international, swathes of make-up, affluent lifestyle and being financially independent were a part of the dream. Like how all dreams end up without hard work, my dream also had gone to waste. I thought I'd be both free and mature.

How did such a big dream go down the drain? Well, I never actually thought that I'd grow up and be old some day. To me, childhood was a doom and I hated being a child, because children are constantly restricted from doing things owing to their immaturity and lack of knowledge. So I did think that being a grown up would be fun. But childhood seemed so tedious and slow, I doubted if I'd ever grow up at all.

Pinning all my hopes, dreams and happiness to a future day was a habit. I never took action. Horrible procrastination that was. I procrastinated on my life. I saved all the good moments for a better day in future, but that day never came. I could never enjoy life because I thought I don't deserve happiness in the present. Little did I know, that the present is life. That's when things happen. Like in the movie Alphaville 1965 it says : “We live in a void of metamorphoses….”. When the time came, it was all gone. I was merely a sad and silly teenager who grew up.

However, now I have realisations. Now, I realise what life is really like. It's so relieving to think that I don't have to be scared and naive all the time, which is what I was as a teenager. This, knowing things, makes me bolder, secure and stronger. I'm no longer 20. I've hit 22. And these are the days that we begin to really notice how we are as a person. When we grow even more as a person. A time when even our flaws make sense. And you are sensible enough to accept yourself the way you are. When you begin to understand your importance and your role in society, your mistakes and irrationality. 

Figuring out my personality isn't such a headache anymore. I know people never stay the same. They evolve with time. People are like rivers and not like oceans. Small but changing. It's something so powerful that if we truly recognise the significance of our existence and our full potential, well, first of all what you get is relief. But not everyone gets enlightened this fast in their youth. All I'm saying is I've stopped seeking the answer to my fate. We are the question and we have to answer it on our own. In a nutshell, It's all in our hands.

So, being 22 with such a realisation, I'm only relieved. I've still got a long journey ahead to fulfill my desires and dreams. If we ever happen to cross paths, all I've got to say is this - stop fussing over the details. You'll get there. You are you and being you is the best thing you can do.