Me and my complicated relationship with my hair💇‍♀️
As a child, I had many insecurities about the way I looked. But I loved my hair, my wavy thick hair which got attention from other divisions of 8th grade when I first joined Mary Mount. I would experiment with new hairstyles, and I made sure I took care of it - like detangling and pigtailing it before going to sleep, using nature's own shampoo with Hibiscus leaves at least once a week and so many which isn't coming to my mind now. There were times I used to cry when the barber cut them shorter than I told them to. I wanted hair till my waist, but my mental health and hair didn't go well.
One day during my 9th-grade vacation, something happened that nearly broke my heart, and I needed a change. I was so hurt that I needed to do something that I cut my hair short. That time it didn't hurt but felt better. It felt like I was cutting off my problems.
I don't know if this sounds crazy, but when I feel depressed, I cut my hair; short, and more the intensity, the shorter my hair becomes, and I feel better. This has been going on for a while now. The reason could be a cloud of many things like the anger I didn't wanna express, the sadness I was hiding, losing friends, a heated argument with my family, the emotional drain from college, work and relationships, and not meeting others' expectations and esp mine, for being vulnerable with people who didn't deserve me at the first place and, the red flags I knew and ignored.
My hair doesn't complain, it is okay with me, and as long as it calms down my bottled-up emotions, I am fine on a bad hair day too. Yes, I zone out more often, I look like a depressed mess at times, and I don't talk about what's going inside my head sometimes. Yes, I have friends who listen to my rantings, but the positivity I get from cutting my hair is something I cannot describe. So, if you are someone like me who copes up with depression by cutting the hair that you love so much, you are not alone🤗
Ya, I think we need to go for therapy because cutting off a bunch of hair might be a temporary solution to feel better, but what you need is professional help.