If you've grown up a little different,
like a traumatic journey that you wanted to change...
So you begged to god crying, sometimes you prayed silently so that no one knows, in doubt, if they don't let you grow better than you were those days!
Weird sort of fear, you never felt before....

Then you learnt to "hope", to have faith and to believe that it never stays forever!
But it kept on happening again and again making you so weird, anxious, insecure...
You left yourself somewhere, too far!
You stopped believing what you believed in,
Had this baseless hate for yourself, like it's almost done for you...

But then suddenly "hope" walks in!
The moment you felt like ending it, someone came to hold you...
Made you feel, what you never thought you could
You did everything....
that you never dreamt of!
It felt beautiful....
So much warmth,
You named it love!
It stayed as it promised to...

Though you were the same!
Stuck on dreaming, clumsy, anxious, inexpressive and weird...
You were sick, not like those physical pain, it was all in your head, dumped after years of trauma!

But somehow you would never let go of your "hope"...
You believed, his love might heal!
Then you realised that wasn't love!
It faded away, leaving you all lost..
He wasn't the one who understood who you were...
He never loved you, but your face!
It was an infatuation, believed to be your first love!
He never cared, he never felt, not that he tried!
But he kept saying everyday, that he loves you.... 
So it broke you even more!

Like everyone you met, came in your life... somehow pushed you to fall and turned you dark and lonely.
They've changed maybe, but you stayed there confused and shattered!
That confidence you gathered, that guts you had, those dreams you aimed.... started leaving you one by one! 
You shouted, pleaded them to stay....

Maybe they were deaf, you consoled 'cause it was too hard to end yourself, giving pain to others that you felt lying alone everyday!

It was "hope", that you never felt...

Though everyone was around you, but your heart went cold, you were living 'cause you had to!
No one believed, no one cared as days passed by....
So you wrote, believing they will miss what they have lost ignoring, when you'll die, you were trying to fight for all your life!

~ Reema.