Hi friends today I am going to talk about how healthy boundaries help you and also will share few cues for conversation to focus on establishing these boundaries.

Boundaries are mental and emotional limits which you do not let anyone violate for your own peace and emotional well-being.

These are the limits you set to protect yourself and have healthy meaningful relationships. Having healthy boundaries is empowering.

Let's understand why is it important to have boundaries:

• To communicate your needs and wants.
• To make space and time for meaningful and positive connection
• To practice self care
• To help you be assertive
• To help you say No

Boundaries can be physical boundaries, emotional boundaries, financial boundaries, professional boundaries.

You need to understand what stops us from having these  boundaries or if we have what stops us from enforcing them.

 Fear of rejection,  need for validation, fear of abandonment , need for confirmation, fear of confrontation, guilt and lack of self-awareness are few barrier to establish healthy boundaries.

When you set your boundaries you need to remember following things:

• Be as honest as possible to your self. 
• List your important priorities.
• When communicating your boundaries use ‘I’ statements.
• Your boundaries have to be appreciate and firm.
• Be respectful and responsible towards yourself.
• Be consistent in implementing your boundaries.
• Be direct and true to your values.
• Never apologize for being you
• Be calm and firm.
• Listen to yourself and determine what needs to be said.

Healthy boundaries help you have high self esteem, positive frame of mind, mental and emotional well-being, empowers you express in healthy manner what your needs and wants are, protects your personal space and helps you become confident and assertive.

Let us look at these two statements:

"I am sorry I won't be able to join you guys today for movie, hope you have great time, I will join you guys next time'

“I am sorry guys had some work can't join you. You know I wanted to it's been so long since we all went out, I feel terrible so sorry guys I feel so bad. Promise I won't back out" 

Can you makeout the difference between the two. So now think reflect and reset your boundaries.

In case you have problem you can use following cues in your conversation to assert your boundaries.

“ I have expressed my position and I am not changing my mind ”

'We can agree to disagree "

"I hear what you are saying but my answer is No"

“ We can want different things and it's Ok”

In the end always remember what I say everything needs practice and keep working on your boundaries. It may feel uncomfortable in the beginning but it's worth it and you need healthy boundaries for yourself.

Till next time take care guys and do share your thoughts in the comments.