A person once said to me that they were “Scared”. Scared of doing things that they write in their diary and do in their world of imagination. I didn’t believe it then but soon I realized why people feel scared. We’re all scared human beings. Scared to tell people how we feel, to open our hearts to someone, to listen to what it says, to love. We’re all scared of little things that make up a pretty big thing when added up. And the tragedy is we're too scared to do anything about it.

We’ve seen movies of love stories where it ends in a good way. They make us want to believe in love. They make our hearts addicted to dreaming for that kind of love. And then there are some that ends in so much pain and grief that just watching them breaks our heart, and we start believing that there is no such thing as love in this world. We see stories where people love each other but life sets them apart because that’s what it does. We don’t often see stories where people are scared. Stories where some are scared to love, and some are scared of not being able to love.

When I see love stories that end in a bad way, the common thing in them is that it’s not usually the two people in love. It’s the other things that set them apart. Things like one of them getting away due to some reason or one of them dying or leaving or sometimes when it's one sided, etc. It’s almost never the two people themselves. So, I used to think that if two people are in love and if they eliminate those other things, love stories can end happily, right?

But I forgot that we're not in a movie. That we're not in the lead role who mostly ends up happily. We live in a place where we’re not allowed to love. Where we’re not allowed to do things differently. I forgot that this is not some Hollywood movie where people are at least allowed to. At least it’s not for the few of us. Because those few of us are still scared. Of families, of people, of the world. I guess this is the only place where love stories don't end because people can't love but they end because people are not allowed to love. Where we’re not allowed to listen to what the heart feels. It’s the families and people who aren’t ready to accept the change that is different from what they’ve seen. Who wants us to adjust in a system that is not made for us. We live in a place where feeling deeply is considered a weakness. Where we’re told "how" to feel certain things instead of letting us feel what it actually is. We’re in a place where people happen to be the dominant force in our life at certain points where it actually should be us.

I never saw a love story where people were in love, but it ended because it wasn’t allowed. Until I saw one. And that’s when I realized why we’re all scared. We’re scared to stand up against a system that isn’t built for us, to tell people how we really feel because those people never allowed us to, or they never listened, scared of being told that we’re not allowed to by our own people. And there’s nothing we can do about it.

Those scared people are mostly those who dream the most, feel most deeply, and want to fall in love the most. But at the end of the day, we’re all scared of a system so big that we feel we’re unable to fight it. We’re all scared of losing so bad that we don’t even try.

We dream of being fearless, we write pages and pages about how strong we want to be, about how fiercely we want to fight. We write poems that can inspire even a loser to conquer the world, we see movies and read books that inspire us to be wild and free like those characters, we write our secret dreams in books, social media, and everywhere we can about how we want to be loved and how we should fight for it, we dream about being so strong that we can conquer the world. But in the end, we close the book we’re reading, put down the pen, shut down the devices, and fall flat into the reality that we’re still too scared to do any of that. We try to escape reality by writing down what we want to be and reading them as if we’re living that.

That’s why we write, I guess. we write things that we’re scared of doing or feeling or telling someone. Because there’s no one to stop us from writing. It’s a place where we’re allowed to love, dream, and live freely without being scared of anything. We create our own little world where we're at the top of it. A world where we do everything we want, where we're not scared of anything at all. It's a place where even for a brief moment in time, we feel free and inspired. But when we wake up the next day, we hit face flat the reality that the world we created doesn't exist but the fear we have still does. We're still scared of doing things that we want to do. 

We live fearlessly and wildly in our imaginary world for a while, and then end up comforting ourselves and accepting things we're given. We see writing poetry and pages of feelings as an escape door and start living those dreams. And eventually, we lose the strength and desire to stand up against anything and make things happen because we're living that life comfortably inside the words and words we write. We lose the battels before even trying to stand up. 

They always show strong people in movies. People who aren’t scared to stand up. They don’t show people like us who are scared. Maybe if they had shown movies like that, we’d be a little braver to stand up against things that don’t allow us to feel a certain way. The way they make movies about strong people who dream and fight, maybe it would have been nice to have more books and movies about scared, weak people who fought. Maybe then people would have had a little more courage to stand up instead of just writing it.

I wish we were a little bit stronger to allow ourselves to stand for what we're not allowed to. There would have been much fewer heartbreaks and much fewer failed love stories. There would've been much fewer people wearing a mask of a smile under their crying faces. There would've been much fewer unhappy souls pretending to be happy. There would've been a lot fewer stories that make people stop believing in love. If we were just a bit less scared and a bit stronger to do and be what we write in our diaries so hopefully.

I wish we were a bit less scared and had just a little more strength to atleast try getting up and not give up without even trying. A little strength in our hearts would've saved so many other hearts from shattering into pieces and so many souls from wounds that might take a lifetime to heal. I wish we all had just a little extra strength to not give up on things close to our hearts. I wish we were just a bit more stronger and a little less scared.