Currently i am in hospital and in my family nobody knows that, because i didn't inform them coz i don't want them to worry about my situation but when i saw a patient with his father then a question click in my mind that, why i don't inform them? Why I feel left out in my own family? How this all begin? The answer lies in past, when i found that people in my family need something that they can glorify in front of others, stories on which they feel proud of. So it started when i lied them first time about my nuisance achievement like i win a silly coke drinking bet, like i win medal at table tennis which i actually bought and so on because i was like an attraction seeking dog at that time.  And this was the time where I started to lose my characters, started to lose myself. It was like price to pay for every fake story that i created and i tried hard to be the hero of it and slowly i got to know the ugly truth, that people around you don't need a common, simple you. Until you have something distinctive to elaborate, to show off. They don't accept you as you are until you become dream, admirer, helper or as per current situation a joker on which they can laugh. That was the time when i get addicted to loneliness, myself and dependent on my own till now.

Now i have no fear of losing things even my lovely one. Currently i am working on thought which placed me one step ahead of others eg. if I am in some kind of pain, i look for people who is in more pain than me, if i am happy then, i am looking for peolpe who are sad it helps me to respect that beautiful time. In simple words I am comparing my situations to ease myself. And surprisingly I am doing the same mistake as my guardians did that rather giving imporance to what you have, you comparing it to satisfy yourself. You don't live the moment but to prove that it is a good moment that's it. And from this point you lose things which you need most in your later old days.

 You can say that i call myself important, it's because my dependency on others are completely washed off. Now i consider myself a debtor for the people who raises me to this level else i have no one to share my tears of grief, my smile of happiness or any emotions which i have or will have.

 The pain of ailment now looks smaller to me thanks for reading me. I write because I feel i am more expressive in writing than speaking. This is from my unstoppable mind. I am Deep Narayan Soni, the so called hero of my first real story.