As I heard Sidharth likes me, of-course I got so happy. No - no, not because ‘I also had feeling for him or anything cr*p like that’ but just because ‘The college's most popular guy, who had many admirers, had fallen for me.’ of-course he have feelings for me, I mean who won't fall? I am smart, funny, hardworking, cool and have more than average good looks as well. and my confidence… that was overflowing. (you can realize that with my pervious 2 lines😅). I had this self loving attitude. and in some accords, I am people pleaser too. So many times I act in a way that people likes most. In short, Every people in my life knows the different version of me, which I created to Please them. 

              So, when I heard that Sidharth likes me, it's like mission accomplished. For me, What people think about me was that much important. I want them to think only good about me. I like it when they make me center of their worlds. (Pretty F*cted up nature, I know😑, but what can I say, It is what it is…) 

             I was happy, so I almost went jumping to meet Sidharth to ask him, “Don't fall for me as many girls likes him and they will be better choice then me and blah blah…” It's again all just act so, he can likes me more. This manipulative nature of mine is came unconsciously. I mean of-course I am not a bad person or anything.(but just a bit Psycho😏) 

            I was standing outside His classroom and about to ask some to show me where he sits, and I heard his voice, he was talking with his friends 4 steps away from where I was standing, his back was towards me, so he didn't saw me. I heard him saying, “With That Junior , it was just rumor. I didn't like her or anything. I have many other important works than that...” 

It crushed me to the ground. he said “that Junior”! it meant that he doesn't even know my name. and said that “he have many other important work.” Am I just any other Task for him? He never even consider me as a friend? I was upset and angry to my core…  As I told you before… I've always been the center of my families world. Even to other peoples who comes in my contact, whether in a bad way or Good… I've always been the center of Attention. But, This guy. He won't put me at the center of his world, he didn't gave me his absolute devotion… No matter what I do. But the more he denied me… the more it fueled my desire to manipulate him, to win him… 

                          - To be continued.