“APPEARANCES ARE DECEPTIVE.”
Frequently, these words come out of our mouths as mere sound. Rarely do we imbibe the meaning they convey. As a result, we become our worst judges. Thus, in the challenging path to self-love, the first voice one should correct is the one within. It is futile to expect society to provide help. Sadly, even their negative comments cannot be hushed. We need to constantly tell ourselves that our physique or choice of dress is not related to our self- worth. However, this is a herculean task, especially when we have grown up listening to conversations and watching advertisements about how being fair and thin are the ultimate pre-requisites for confidence and success.
A shift in attitude is necessary, though difficult. We need to start consciously judging people based on their talents and qualities rather than their appearance. Before treating others with respect, we must learn to treat ourselves with love. Only a person who accepts and respects oneself can reflect that onto others. We must realize that what matters most is how much we trust ourselves.
Most often, we fill our inner world with negativity. It is true that we treat ourselves harsher than others around. Its time we understand that trying to forcefully fit into social norms is pointless because they are unreal and fake. Such attempts will only hinder us- our development, our happiness and our peace. Instead, we must engage in uplifting ourselves with positivity.
Self- love, followed by unbiased love towards others, are both vital for the creation of a brighter world. Only a person who realizes that he/ she is not defined by what is outside, will understand that it is the same for others too.
It is impossible not to quote Kamala Das when talking about self-love. She beautifully expresses in her poem “An Introduction”,
Everyone of you? Why not let me speak in
Any language I like? The language I speak,
Becomes mine, its distortions, its queerness
All mine, mine alone.Just as the poet says, each one of our soul has a unique language which is not governed by the external features. Regardless of how flawed it is, it is what makes a person true, it is what makes a person lovable. When we forget this and try to imitate some unrealistic model, we cease to be that beauty we are meant to be. It is important to hold on to this novel core within us and love ourselves. Only a lighted candle can wipe-off darkness around itself.
