I have finished a quarter of my life assuming that I would live a hundred years….yes..I turned 25 this 18th of  June 2021.As we all are excited about birthdays and it's considered pretty normal…I was excited too with all the butterflies going on in my tummy.I had planned my outfit from two weeks before the special day.

I dint have big birthday parties and multiple tired cakes,those caps ,pom poms and everything.I had a very normal birthdays and I remember my mother even forgot my birthday once…..which was hurtful but let's not go in detail with that incident.

Not only for my birthday I'm excited but also on my friends birthdays I'm the most excited person ,so you can imagine my state and I love surprising them with sweet little gestures.I even remember going all the way from banglore to manglore on a normal non A/C bus to surprise my ex-boyfriend lying to my family that I had night duty.And definitely o have surprised my friends with cute and sweet gestures.And finally my boyfriend,I have done everything and more than that for him.I gifted him 30gifts for his 30th birthday and hell loads of surprises,name it and it was already done.I don't know whether it's normal to expect a genuine gesture back or something is wrong with me….you water the plant to look after it well but you also expect it to flower atleast one fine day right???

On the day of my birthday I had this whole imaginary world inside head that my guy would come and surprise me or send me a piece of  cake atleast and warm my heart.But that was the worst imaginable bubble I was living in,he burst it very hard.I couldn't wholeheartedly celebrate my birthday and not even share this with my friends coz you never betray your boyfriend in front of your girlfriends and vice versa.I acted all normal and questioned him because I couldn't be bystander watching this and act as of nothing happened,and the reason he came up with was absurd and even if a 3rd person hears to it ,he would have questioned the existence of our relationship.I regretted asking him why and expected him to come.That was the basic thing I asked him and he dint even come the next day….even though I cried my heart out saying I'm getting hurt and I really need you and I literally begged him.After a point I realised I was fighting a losing battle so I took a step back and questioned myself AM I NOT WORTH IT? and I dint have and answer.Finally I stayed far away from everyone,switched off my phone ,locked my door ,went away on the next flight  and deep clensed my mind.And guess what? He dint even bother to check on me….and told me that I was emotionally blackmailing him and that my birthday wasn't special at all.That day I realised and I decided not to celebrate my birthday,coz the most valued and loved person has shown you that you birthday is nothing and honestly it's not about the birthday,it's all about priorities and just being there for that one person..so my advice to you guys is don't wait for someone to make you feel special,just be that person whom you expect to be with you always.There is no filmy fairytales.Life is not smooth and you have to deal with it.