It was all good until I saw a clip from a tv serial which was telling about how it is so good to have friends, actually BEST FRIEND.

Today I'm going to write a story rather an untold story about me being single as in without friends or BEST FRIEND. And the idea of writing this story came to my mind while watching that particular clip.

You will wonder that how In a world where best friends are regarded as a best part of our lives, a brother/sister from another mother(this is the phrase used fashionably now a days, right?). How a person can survive without a best friend? Well, I'm the example of that person surviving without a best friend. I'll not say that I had never made one or I didn't have any best friend, but now I had lost them. You'll ask why? Because firstly I'm a hard person to live with, and to handle me is even more harder.

Secondly, two persons(a boy and a girl) can never be best friends as the saying goes which is true at least in my case. So one of the friend rather say best friend of mine fall in love which is why things got complicated, that too because one of them(that is me) didn't. And it is really very hard to be friends when one is in love and other is not. Supposedly we think that it'll go all okay being knowing about each other and respecting one's feelings but when has things work out as planned or the way you thought they would? 

So, first things first, we were school mates like from second standard till sixth standard after that I left the school and got admission in another school. then things got changed, we all got busy in our lives and that time there was no such things like social media and all. We were in the same city and remember meeting him on road when I was in my graduation and coming out from college after giving my first semester exam.

After that we met on social media, as we were already familiar with each other but without been in contact with each other so days passed knowing and talking with each other. We really got connected in no time and shared a bond like I had never made with anyone. Slowly chats converted into calls then weekly chatting turned into daily conversation, sharing things to each other and many more. I really couldn't understand how I vibed so much with him, may be because he was like the one friend whom I had always wanted to be with until he confessed his feelings to me. First of all I thought he was joking but he was not. And that even was not my concern because even after his feelings I had decided that I'll not let it become matter for breaking our friendship, so things were going well, we were like usual chatting, sharing and everything but some days it was harder for him to be only friend(of course it is the feelings I'm talking about and who can control it) and some days it was harder for me to see it, seeing the person who is your best friend in pain kills you, and it kills even more when you can not do anything. So I decided to cut off from him which was for the best. 

After that it was like on and off friendship may be. Because I didn't want anything more than friendship and he didn't want only friendship. 

I'm writing this because I wanted to share how I feel after I decided to not talk to him. I want to say that it is very hard you know to see someone go who you thought will be together for a lifetime as your best man. I have always been the one to leave and he has always been the one to come again after all the things I have said, I had done. 

This time also I'm not talking  because sometimes I feel this isn't right and may be we both are investing our time in a wrong person or may be the time is not right. 

There are many many things and thoughts which I'm unable to mould in words right now so now I think this is it.