Our relationships are basis of our existence, most special  among them is our romantic relationships. this is one aspect of our life we rely upon the most they eventually become our comfort zone. These relations can at times be very challenging and difficult to navigate through. No one can guarantee if it will be successful or you will have your happily ever after.

So when we have tough times or when we  break up we have difficulty in understanding how to respond as no one teaches you this.

In fact in our society we still do not accept romantic relationships as part of our life choice or decision so who will help us learn coping with breakup. The only way out we know is our parents or significant others and how they work their relationship.

But in the end most of us end up hurting alone and feeling so overwhelmed that we give on ourselves and on any future experience.

Before we learn to move on let us understand that fallout in any relation is possible for various reasons. We need to accept and not blame ourselves because it takes two people to clap and it was not your responsibility alone to make things work.

We also need to understand that sometimes people come into our life to help us learn and know about ourselves. so it may sound cliched but may be you still need to find the right person.

The pain ,hurt and sense of loss we go through is more difficult because we have not learned any coping mechanism to accept this phase and heal. We do not reach out to help because we suffer alone.

To heal and to move on, we need to remember this was an intimate  part of your life so do not belittle the relationship or yourself.

you need to feel every emotion to heal ,do not push away your feelings let them pass this may look impossible but be kind to yourself let these feelings pass.

Its ok to grieve the loss,  grieve the loss of the person ,of the relationship but do not let grief turn into self pity or self sabotage.

Reflect on your own thoughts, what worked in the relation, your contribution to it and also the red flags that started emerging which you might have missed. 

Cherish your memories and happy times they are and will always be part of your life, you never know one day you might laugh about it also. Be kind, compassionate to no one else but to your self.

Always answer this question : Is this relation  positive for you?  Does holding on to it helps you grow and be your true self?

In your process of healing and acceptance remember RAIN, a simple technique to help you reflect, focus on yourself.

Recognize what is happening emotionally. identify where does your feeling reflect. experience it.

Allow life to be as it is. one aspect of your life has changed not the whole life. hold on to it and let it pull you through this.

Investigate your thoughts and belief to understand are they really true or is it just emotional reaction leading to transference of emotion.

Non identification with your feelings…you need to experience these feelings but you don't need to identify with these feelings.

In the end do not forget “YOU ARE IMPORTANT & YOU MATTER”