But then it…….

Fell Apart 

And the ABUSE 

I couldn't believe that we were so loving to each other , and now we are being so abusive. Their was a time I felt bad because I felt bad. He told me that my sadness is my sickness. And I was not allowed to feel bad. He couldn't understand my grief. And I couldn't handle his reasons.

Everyday I got up I told myself I had to be fine . I had to function. But it did get worse. I felt worse but I couldn't speak about it because he told me if I speak about it, I would be spreading my disease. 

I felt sad that I was infecting my pain on other people. But I was in pain. I didn't know what to do or what to look forward for.

I couldn't talk about it anymore, I couldn't understand, I just wanted to be loved , I wanted to love. I couldn't ask for things I thought made me feel better. Because he told me I was being needy .

We feel guilty for wanting someone to be with us and they make us feel need. We don't deserve the warmth that comes from being with another person. They tell us that we are fundamentally cold.

The silence and frustration broke us and we had to let each other go. And I was heart broken. I felt so weak that I couldn't fight for someone whom I love. I just felt so bad that it didn't work out.

May be sometimes , To give up is the strongest thing we can do or maybe the weakest. I am still fighting it out.

As the time went by I realised my faults. I was draining him out too. He had his worries, he had his dreams. He was continuously feeling guilt for the things he couldn't do for me.

It was so unfair for him that I depended so much on him.

We lost our ease and our love became our disease. It's cruel.

 Life is not this hard , it doesn't have to be.

Love is not this hard it doesn't have to be .

Love is what which pushed us apart because we grew out of love. We deserve healing , we deserve happiness, we deserve peace. We deserve love in someone with someone. And most importantly we have to find the peace in ourselves.

🌸🌸🌸

Hey everyone hope you all are doing well amidst the pandemic. Disclaimer: this is not my own story I just narrated the story of one of my friend .

I hope you liked it.

Thanking you.

XOXO 😚