Corporate success and large incomes aren't the surefire paths to happiness that they're made out to be. However, it makes sense for us to believe they are. "We're fed such an enormously dense diet of popular media and marketing that moulds our view of happiness in a way that actually gets in the way of it." I believe that as a society, especially in the West, we have a slight delusion about what happiness is and how to increase it.

Long-term efforts have been made by researchers to separate fact from fantasy when it comes to identifying factors that boost happiness. Here are six odd items that we frequently believe make us happy but may fact be having the opposite effect.

Avoiding your negative feelings

Happiness is a lofty ideal. Suppressing unpleasant feelings like resentment, fear, and rage is unquestionably a positive step.

It turns out that the contrary is true, and according to experts, that is the biggest misconception regarding the pursuit of happiness. "we have the false impression that a happy, meaningful existence implies feeling good all the time and avoiding our negative feelings." The data, however, “suggests that suppressing our unpleasant emotions may actually make them worse.”

According to research, suppressing unfavourable feelings is a "barrier to good health." According to one study, suppressing negative feelings like anger or disgust might make people more aggressive, while a another one shows that the tendency can reduce social support and intimate connections. More studies have found a connection between repressing emotions and a higher chance of dying young from any reason.

Changing our perspective on happiness and acknowledging that it encompasses the complete range of emotions is considerably better. Remind yourself that you're just seeing a portion of the narrative when you scroll through smiling people on social media and that it's impossible or unhealthy for anyone to be cheerful all the time.

There is a more restorative—more growth- and learning-oriented—way to react to our bad feelings once we redefine what happiness is. It's crucial to cultivate self-compassion and understand that the solution to feeling horrible isn't to stifle those feelings or berate ourselves. Instead, "we need to know what they're for. Both mindfulness meditation and an approach known as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, or ACT, can assist some people in learning healthy ways to recognise and deal with challenging emotions. The strategy teaches people to embrace their inner feelings rather than to suppress them.

Living in a city

According to research, urban life frequently leads to stress, anxiety, and general dissatisfaction. One study found that those who lived in cities were 39% more likely to have a mood disorder such serious depression and 21% more likely to experience an anxiety disorder. According to a different study, those who live in noisy neighbourhoods are 25% more likely to report having depressive symptoms than those who live in quiet ones. (One reason would be that noise might disrupt sleep, which is important for mental health.) The mere presence of tall structures has been found to worsen moods and feelings of helplessness.

According to a neuroscientist  who investigates how natural and constructed environments affect mood and physiology, one reason why cities have these effects is because our brains are only wired to live in social groups of roughly 150 individuals. Of fact, most places have a population that is higher, but in a smaller town, you won't see every single one of them as you go to work. "Once our group size exceeds that, we're essentially living among strangers, and that is cognitively and emotionally exhausting," he claims. Cortisol levels may rise, for instance, if a person feels cramped in a high-density region.

Fortunately, there are strategies to safeguard your mental health if you currently reside in a city and intend to keep doing so. Ellard argues that substituting a bus commute with a walk or a bike ride, as well as even brief exposures to natural settings like urban parks, can be beneficial. Additionally, purchasing white-noise machines and black-out drapes can help you sleep better in busy, light areas.

Having tons of free time

Researchers have long recognised the importance of having enough free time for wellness, but it now appears that having too much free time may be just as detrimental as not having enough.

A study that appeared in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in 2021 found a slight but significant association between wellbeing and leisure time. After around two hours, the advantages plateau, and after five hours per day, they start to drop. Having a lot of free time doesn't necessarily make you happier. In some cases, it can make you less happy. The cause of this is that you no longer feel productive and that you are lacking in meaning and purpose, according to you.

Chasing a dream

Most of us have been told that if we work hard, we'll obtain the ideal, well-paying job, a spectacular promotion (and then another), and live happily ever after since we were young children. 

But according to experts, marking those achievements off your list won't truly make you happier—at least not for very long. The arrival fallacy is the misconception that gaining prosperity will bring to lasting happiness. Most individuals think that if they win the lottery, get that raise or promotion, or triumph in a competition, they would be financially secure, he observes. In fact, this puts millions, if not billions, of people on the road to misery. Because success only produces a brief increase in our levels of enjoyment, not long-lasting fulfilment, at best.

Anonymity 

It's normal to occasionally desire to blend in, to keep our heads down, avoid eye contact, and do as we want.The pursuit of anonymity isn't helping us in any way.

This makes reference to a study in which participants were asked what might occur if they misplaced a wallet containing $200. How probable did they believe it was that a cop, a neighbour, a store clerk, or a total stranger would get it back? People who thought they lived in a place where their wallet would be returned were significantly happier than those who didn't.

He mentions a research in which participants were asked to imagine what would happen if they lost a wallet holding $200. How likely did they think it was that a police officer, a neighbour, a store employee, or a complete stranger would find it? People were substantially happier than those who didn't believe they lived in a place where their wallet would be returned.

Buying fancy things

The connection between wealth and contentment is nuanced. Your level of happiness does increase with a good pay, but only to a limited extent. According to research, up to roughly $75,000 per person per year (and $105,000 in more costly North American regions), Americans tend to feel happier in relation to their income; after that, emotional well-being levels off.

But those who spend money on experiences rather than objects have a tendency to be happier. This is probably because enjoyable activities encourage social interaction and can be valued for what they are, rather than in comparison to others' experiences (which isn't possible with consumer products). Even small excursions qualify as experiences, according to Norton: “Going out for lunch with a friend instead of purchasing oneself some [trivial] thing.”

According to  research, spending money on others rather than on yourself might increase happiness. Giving actually is more advantageous than investing on oneself, he claims. And you're not required to start a $1 billion foundation, either. "That day is going to be a happy day" even if you only have $5 to donate.