In my 1st blog, I wrote about my loneliness, which was The Moment when I was alone. 

The feeling of loneliness can lead you to negative thinking. And at that time I was not able to think anything positively. I started thinking very  negatively about things, people ,etc around me. 

That time I choose to limit my problems to myself. I was getting filled with emotions like sadness, angry, confusion, guilty, and many other emotions, which were pulling me down. Whenever I walked on roads or streets sometimes I forgot the way and just walk with the confusion that where am I going? Where is my destination? After a break of few days whenever I meet my friends it was becoming  harder for me to remember their names and faces. I was just able to recognize those with whom I met regularly. 

I started Keeping myself away from people. I stopped meeting new people and started less interaction with my familiar ones. Due to mental illness, I started facing physical issues like weight gain, laziness, problem in taking a proper breath. 

My negativity and bad thoughts started affecting my relations, my schedule, my studies, my memory. At that time no one else was more responsible for my condition other than me. People started noticing different changes in my behavior and my studies. And I was getting annoyed with this all, what was happening to me. 

Before facing these problems I only heard about it in movies, TV's, and in stories, but never imagined the horrible view of life. Since childhood, I was a talkative girl who loves to talk, but after facing these issues I started to keep silent. I was spending my whole day without speaking a single word, I talk only when my parents called to talk to me. When the call hangup I become silent again. I was having a strong feeling that someone inside me is destroying me very fast. I started trying to  divert my mind by doing many things but I couldn't able to continue that for few days. 

I started hating myself, that why this all is happening with only me?

 Why I'm losing control over my thoughts and  emotions? 

Did I do anything wrong with someone?

What is my mistake? 

The unnecessary thoughts started disturbing me while sleeping. I couldn't sleep at night, just spending my nights thinking useless and unknown thoughts. I started getting scared for my future.  

Still whenever these thoughts come to my mind I become more scared. 

Living with the hope that one day everything will become good…….