Dear Maa,

       I hope you all are well. I hope so because you need not to be worried about a daughter who has been almost beyond the age of marriage. So,will society spare you? Will you dare to challenge the petty sentiments of society. Do you remember my tender age? Since my childhood, I used to tell that I will never marry. Baba and you used to laugh unbound considering it a simple joke. Though, I never fail to project myself as the emblem of you by putting a big red bindi on the forehead,wearing one of your sarees whenever I used to get the scope.  

           I has been thoroughly excellent academically. Do you remember my struggle period for a job, maa? Baba has fallen ill. After his retirement I was desperate to get a job. In the mean time my hard work earned me the fortune . I have been appointed as the associate professor of a college. I was so happy for my accomplishment. But even till then,I has been stick to the decision that I will never marry. Because I want to be single. I was 32 by that time. The aunty of our neighbourhood often came to our house only to learn about any possibility of my marriage. Every time, when she became frustrated, she delivered a long lecture on marriage.  

         Then the day came when you got a match for me from a matrimonial site. Even I was not aware of my profile being displayed in the matrimonial site. I was so shocked at such sudden proposal. I was hurt too because my own parents failed to respect my decision of life. I tried hard to make you understand. But all in vain. They were not ready to put up with more insults from society, the queer look from neighbours, the unwelcoming questions from relatives. Even one of my relatives asked you whether I was in relationship with any married man. I cried all the night.  

        I found no other alternative except accepting your proposal. I just resigned to my fate. You consoled me saying that the family and the would be groom were well educated and modern in outlook. But you know,maa? The first day,I stepped in my in laws house,I have to listen that my complexion is dark. I need to use some fairness cream from well known brand. When I smiled and said that I was quite happy and comfortable with myself, they said that they could not be comfortable with my complexion. I asked your son in law why he and his family agreed to this marriage. They said that they wanted a well salaried bride who would earn a considerable amount of wealth. I thought that I should to leave that house at once. But where should I go,maa? You all have already forsaken the burden of a daughter. If I went back, you had to bear the same shame,that you used to face before. Then,I thought that I will not give in so easily. I will definitely give this marriage a try. That has been the worst decision I have ever made in my life. I had to complete all my cooking before I go to college. After coming back,I have to do all the household duties again. My so called husband often asked for money from me giving many excuses.  The need is endless. Last week, he demanded a huge amount of money. But I refused to give. Where do I get such big amount? He slapped me directly, insulted me with his slang. He addressed me as a prostitute saying I have affairs with a lot of guy outside. Maa,everything can be compromised, but not my self respect. 

For the first time, I confronted with courage. I returned him the slap. I said him that he never deserved me,an educated man could never be so mean in mentality. I openly declared that I never love this man who always thought that he is my master. I was no longer ready to be a possession of a master,namely husband. So,I have decided to leave this house. But maa,you don't worry, I will never go back to you. I will not let you have again the embarrassment. You know, maa,a girl doesn't have her own house. But I will definitely try to manage one for me,my own house where I will live with my own dreams, aspirations . My job is my refuge. Therefore, I am ready to go out in search of a new life. I will try to give my life a new dimension, where other women who are oppressed, tortured, will taste a new slice of life. My actual journey of life starts now. Keep showering your blessings so that I may become the voice of many women who are facing trauma on a daily basis after the marriage. And,maa,please try to believe that marriage is a choice, it can be never be a compulsion.  

                                             Only Yours

                                 A Daughter who is in                    search of a new light and life.