Millions and millions of years ago, when the first Homo sapien, the modern man, evolved from Homo erectus that marked a new beginning for humans and Earth. There were many advancements in the way of living and the ways of interaction within the bands and among other bands. As the number of members in each band increased, problems and issues also started to emerge. To keep harmony inside the band new rules and myths were created. Many myths of the time were associated with natural elements such as wind, mountain, rivers, sun and moon.
The myths and rules travelled down generations serving their main purpose- to adhere members of a band to each other. As time passed these myths became a culture and some are even regarded as real. Even now we are made to believe and preach some of these myths not as a medium of adherence but as a norm or necessity.
We all have heard the phrase “Man is a social animal” and to live in a society we have to follow its rules and regulations. From childhood, we are made to think and act in a particular manner by our parents and teachers. What we are today is a sum total of all the parenting and teaching we received in our childhood. Think about it. Remember in childhood when we used to play Father-Mother Game( Ammayum Achanum) the girl who played the role of mother remained home cooking and doing all the household chores and the boy who played the role of father used to go out, work, make money and come back home with grocery items. Here indirectly the kids have got the idea that mothers are to remain home and fathers are to go out and work.
There are many such instances when where we can see and understand that we are groomed and conditioned to think in a particular way. One of the very common dialogues of parents “Man don't cry” when they see their boy child cry. This sentence makes him think that men should always be strong and brave and don't succumb to feelings. And indirectly implying that crying is a girl-thing.
Money oriented goals and aims are another example. We, as kids, were always told to have an aim in our life. When choosing the aim of our life, our parents and teachers (not all but some) give us the wrong lead ie to choose a job which will make you rich in money rather than rich in happiness. We are accustomed to relating everything in our life with the money we earn. This is another example of how the society we live in influences our thoughts and behaviour.
All the above-mentioned examples along with many other things are known as social conditioning. Social conditioning is a process in which we are made to think and act to satisfy society in general and peer groups within society.
Many cases reported in our country like marital rape, killing and torturing girls based on dowry and honour killing, are all the result of social conditioning. We have laws that restrict and prohibit these atrocities but why is the number of cases reported increase day by day? Give it a thought.
The dowry Prohibition bill was passed in the year 1961 but the groom never stopped asking for dowry and the bride's family never stopped giving dowry. Why? Because dowry is a social norm. We, at least some of us, are conditioned to think dowry is normal.
Man is a social animal and we cannot exist without socialising but it is not necessary that all our deeds and thoughts be approved by society. It is high time we bring up a generation who can think independently without fearing society.
Ganga Ambily Gopi
