Maintaing my mental health is just one the peak priority in my life, no doubt that I sometimes fall of the wagon and truly honestly I have had fall of the wagon quite a few times in last two to three years.

What's meant by this is that though I love doing my deep meditation practice and by the end of the practice i just feel so good that I would be quite unfair to describe that feeling into words and then on someday I still refuse to do it or my priorities took place over it. 

But by this, isn't you should ask me the question about my little world that seeks only mental peace over anything and everything in this world. 

You see that's what set it ironical in nature whislt I love meditating but I gave upon it sometimes for the sake of eating junk, or say scrolling through instagram endlessly, or gossiping over a phone, or bitching about your dad's  relatives to your mom(like a good mom and daughter duo does) but you see the point is my number one priority swept off through this vague things.

So are we to the conclusion that mediation or seeking mental peace isn't my thing? Yeah that exactly it point outs to.

I seek doing mediation as a tasks and not as an activity or else a passion to look within myself, to know myself more, more than I could ever know, to sit in a peace and seek whereabouts of my feelings and emotions and learning the art of letting go. 

You see that's what it is. It could should have been my sense of joy that I would could have chose over anything, just like I chose to scroll instagram a little in midst of my study session for the test that I have tomorrow. Why I don't choose meditation practice instead.

Thoughts? 

And the other conclusion I came up with is that maybe I don't outlook my end results, that how much my deep mediation practice will make me happier at the end of it by simply choosing meditation over a vague thing. And mediation will certainly will benefit me over the sheer temptation that occurs to gossip over a phone.

Choosing long term goal over a impulse and an emotion is the new goal I keep for myslef.

The end conclusion of describing my little errors with so much of distinctive description severs the purpose is letting you know that you choose your decision very wisely. And hopefully go for the long term goals, the short terms will give you the short term happiness and the grief for long terms. 

Makes sense?

And if you eventually end up doing it, thats OK too. But the least you still can do is, simply find a way to how to not to...