I often heard people talk about True Love, Intense attachment, a beautiful feeling which I never had experienced.

Now, that feeling is a part of me. I learnt that wanted to be loved back is not love but wanted to stay in touch, to give a smile and try to keep that smile intact is Love.  It cannot be forced neither can be expressed, It can only be felt.

However, you know what the worst part is when your Love unlove you. And in all that time I didn't learn how to live without them, How to survive when they leave you. Because I was so madly and deeply in love with him that I never imagined them abandoning me. I dreamt to grow old together, to always have each others back, no matter what.

Instead, I found myself fighting with me, for doing things I shouldn't. You know why coz The heart wants what is want, didn't it?

In that situation, I just wanna make the other person feel how and what profound feelings I have for him. Even though things did not turn out the way I wished, I still not regret cause it was the most precious moment of my life which I want to keep with myself until forever. Because, I felt it, I loved it, I earned it, I lived in it truly with my pure heart and soul.  

Now it doesn't matter, I learnt to love myself first. Through all this I never actually realized that I was slowly losing the track of who I really was, What are my needs and wants, Who am I apart from him. And I do not know answers of these question but what I have learnt is never let fade who the real me is, Coz that is what really matter.

Moreover, never to devote yourself in a person who doesn't want you for for life, As they leave and you are stuck with a question what should I do now and you are left with no answers.

It hurts. It is defiantly not an easy task to move on with life after loosing someone, after knowing that they abandoned you for life, that they never gonna come. It aches more with every thought and each unanswered question. 

You cannot vanish these feeling and memories, You cannot heal instantly. It takes time. That pain and void left inside you never actually fades, one just know with time how to live with that.

And life goes on.