Some one asked me today how are you?  And i replied i do not know because i has been long time when i talked to inner me. That person said go ask her. 

I said no let her be she confuses me more. Its better if she don't talk to me more often😏😏😏. 

When i read the chat again i really don't know how to react because that is what i have become. I really don't know the real me anymore. And if try to fine out we are conflicting every time on every thing. Because she is the free soul while i am trapped one. She want to do things what she like but i can't. She keeps telling me you are a coward and i argue back but deep down i know she is right but i can't say that loud. It's not i wana be free soul but i have read some where "the greatest good of greatest number". Which means if you happy about something but that happyness causes hurt to someone the you should sacrifice that happiness😔  I don't if i am doing right thing by walking on this saying. 

Sometimes i wana be selfish 😁but i do not know what keeps me back by doing the things by heart want to do. I wana run away to a place where no one knows me and do not have opinion about me Just wana start  from zero again As if in many korean dramas they go back to fix their life (ps: i am a big fan of kdramas😍😍  I want to do same Rewinding my life and avoiding some incidents  But then i think where is the guarantee that i would have better life But the thought is exciting to do Rewinding it whole and knowing what happens next 😀😀😀. It will be a hell of a ride right. Meeting my old self and giving her few slaps and curses for choosing some people and doing some silly stupid and unnecessary things Ufff But i guess i can only do this thing on riding on my imaginative carpet like alladin had one😉. 

Like people make resolution for new year i need to make one with my inner self so that we can get along well in day today life. So that i can peacefully go on with my life which she describes as living cowardly.