Being a parent is by far one of the most joyous moments. Anyone who has gone through the process of bringing a new life into this world knows it, it is twice the trouble but also brings a lot of happiness. Parenting never had a rule book. Every parent is different from the other, every child a separate individual. Each child is special in his/her own way. Each parent and each child has a mind of their own. As and when each relationship graduate to the next level, we, tend to hold back to the last level of our relationship. Lets see how we can encourage and allow our relationships to evolve as a parent and a spouse:
NEVER COMPARE: We often read that we should never compare our children with other children. But it is also important that we should never compare our spouses with us or anybody else in front our children. Children develop this unique defense mechanism, they knew what to say when and when to do what, to save themselves from a scolding or punishment. Instead, we may practice to be tolerant towards our spouses, we should always be patient and loving towards them as we would be to our children. Children are too young to understand the complex spiral web of a marital relationship, all they understand is Mummy and Daddy. Children see parents as a support system for their existence. The love that parents give them serves as a foundation for their future relationships.
IT IS ALWAYS A TEAM : It is a team work. Each parents share a bond with their child or children, independent of the other parent. As a parent, we must allow and help the other parent to establish a healthy relationship with the child/children. It gives the child confidence to see that he/she can build a relationship with each of the parent individually and also in harmony. It builds up a chain of secure family connections and help build stronger relationships in future. As an exercise, if parental responsibilities are delegated properly among both the parents, from time to time, it allows the child to develop a dependency on both parents individually.
BE A HERO: Being a Hero to your children/child is no easy task. Parents do not need super powers or any cosmic intelligence to be one. You just have to be there, when they need you. Do we ever bring ourselves to think that our spouse also expects to be their hero? When the Mother has some work or needs a little time off, the Father can step in to look after the child and vice versa. This gives a sense of reliability. When two people, share responsibilities and enjoy their own company, time to time, it gives room for love to bloom and seal family bonds in this new age. It is being a hero for your child/children as well as your spouse. When spouses evolve as parents, their relationship becomes more demanding with a new life to take care which they both share. Following a ritualistic pattern to enjoy a vacation or a recreational activity as a family, sometimes with the child/children or sometimes just the parents.
NEVER FIGHT: Never argue or fight in front of your child/children. Always encourage each other as parents and be polite with each other. In case of a disagreement, put it in a way that does not sound demeaning or disrespect your better half. Always resolve everything before calling it a day.
Relationship in these changing times have posed a challenge to us in everyway. During this pandemic, the full rulebook has undone itself and taken us to a phase we are locked in our homes. These relationships are the only prized possession we have. Raising a family has never been so demanding when both parents are at working from home and raising a family. These times shall pass too, what we can do is prepare our next generation for a healthy and happy life by practicing the same and encouraging each other in raising a new bright generation.
