Note: Just a piece of writing.

It is colder than usual tonight and my heart is screaming to hold your warmth in my arms and sleep listening to the uneven beating of your heart. You are not here though. Two hours ago, you sent me a text saying that you would not be able to make it tonight and I hate it that I was not a bit surprised. So for dinner, i went to the nearest park and gave away all your favorite dishes that I had made to the kids who had giggled at us and said that we looked lovely together last summer. They knew i looked sad and kept looking for you, i gave them a sadder smile and walked away. I ate your lies and let your shirt hug me.

It is 12:01 am now and it is not my birthday anymore. was heartbreak the best gift you could come up with? It comes close to the second best I have received till now, your love still holds the first place. Though, I don't know if it is mine anymore. You are not here yet my heart is desperate to feel closer to yours . 

It has been too long and it still feels like yesterday when you walked out on us, when you chose yourself over us - you and I. I don't blame you, I understand that I can be a bit too much at times but it was always only with you. I hope you know that. I hope you know that i would never open myself to anyone the way I did to you. It felt like it was the right thing to do. I don't know what is right or wrong anymore.

Everytime he tries to hold my hand, it feels wrong. How can it feel right if it is not your hand caressing mine? seasons have passed, I don't know if you are still that person who i fell in love with but i do know that no matter if we never cross paths again, you would always feel like home to me. You were far from perfect. For all we know, we might always be wrong for each other. We never fit well, your puzzles did not find mine yet in all our imperfections and oddness, we still felt just about right. With you, even the less always felt more.

I'd never want less more in my life when he cut himself open and gave me his heart and all it asked for in return to be in sync with yours.