When I was 8, dad got me a shotgun. maybe it was his cue that I should become a daaku.

I loved it. I showed it to a friend who was a bully (yeah, I was lonely) and lived on the 3rd floor. his name was Bilal, he walked funny and had trouble speaking. All the kids called him ‘Hil-dul Bilal’ - Translation: moving Bilal (because he couldn't stand straight).

It was mean, but 8-year-olds are mean. Try me. Ask a kid “how do I look?” and they'll destroy your confidence.

So, Bilal, along with his elder brother, took my shotgun.

I was sad and angry. I wanted revenge. I was out for blood.

I couldn't fight Bilal or his brother (my mom would have beaten me up if she found out I'm running my own fight club), so I decided - someone else will fight my battle.

Later that night, I went to Yasir's place, who lived next door.

His parents were watching the tv. I settled down on their bed and started a long monologue - about Bilal, his brother, his father, and how their entire family thinks that Yasir's family sucks.

I started lying. I said things like “Bilal said you're a thief, uncle”, “Bilal said you are ugly, uncle”, “Bilal said he can beat you up, uncle.”

At first, no one took me seriously, but then, I said something that got him fuming. I don't remember what it was, but he was mad at Bilal's father.

He stood up, tightened his lungi, and was ready to fight. His wife calmed him down. She told him not to believe me.

I knew I had to get her angry, too, so I said, “Bilal called you fat, aunty.”

That was enough. Now, she was fuming. When the uncle got approval from his wife, he put on his shirt and went to the 3rd floor.

I went back home. I could hear the two men shouting. I had a smile on my face as I slowly drifted to sleep.

And then, there was a knock on the door - Yasir and Bilal's - dad had come to our doorstep. They wanted to talk to me. Dad told them I was asleep.

You know, adults can't be trusted. they snitched on me.

The next morning, I told dad why I did what I did. I don't remember if he said anything wise or if he laughed. Or wondered if his son is a psychopath.

All I remember is that I got my shotgun back.