Dear demons in my head,

You were there in the morning, reminiscing me to take my medicines, iron my clothes, pack my bags, wash my hair, least I look less than presentable. And like the obedient girl that I am, I obey.

I walk around with my eyes down while you announce that people must be staring at me, at my shabby backpack and my old t-shirt. How they were surely cringing away and whispering in voices, silently pointing my way. How they were surely laughing behind my back and I would be their table talk when they would be having dinner with their family tonight.

I wrap up my arms around myself, holding on tighter, hoping I could silence you this way by overrunning you, but all I hear is your laughter, all I see is your smile on your face. Some more comments you throw on my way, that people are just being good to my face, being kind to the loser, but all they want is to not be around me, you say.

I doodle and write and scribble in the back of my book, I listen to the class and ignore all the virtual looks I get. I don't make friends because you have told me that I am not really worth the company and people just walk by forgetful to my inner fights.

I don't think people even know I exist, because I don't really speak too much, because of how you tell me to keep my voice low, not to be two bold, everyone thinks I am a free show. That's okay I guess, may be you are just defending me, or may be you are trying to keep me for yourself, so that someday you can complete this story.

It is getting kind of late, I warm some old food and sit down at my empty table, as you give me company to it all, letting me know how my day went, and all I did was wrong. And how everyone will remember it, and everything is my mistake. 

Tomorrow I will walk again, holding myself more tighter, looking at my feet and steps i am taking, hoping some day I will find an end to your laughter.

Oh! Yes, i will take my medicines.

Thank you for reading and supporting me! Have a nice day ahead. See you soon in the next blog.