Note: It's just a piece of writing and nothing personal.

I always try too hard. Even when deep down, I'd know that no matter how much I try to keep the missing pieces together, it will never be made whole again. I grew up learning to accept my imperfections and loving them a little more while they grew up to be someone who listens when others speak or offers their silence a company. They were their own person and while there is nothing wrong with that, my heart would still feel the absence coming to meet me on nights which felt too long to dream alone. And yet, it was always them chasing my smile and bringing it home. To the world, we were the brightest, it was only when we were alone, did the rainbow of darkness embrace ourselves like two souls lost in colours but no light. while we healed each other's past wounds, we also left some cuts along the way. It doesn't matter anymore the countless nights I've spent crying for the warmth or the days they missed my words, we will never go back to what it once was.

It's something that cannot be defined, it can only be felt. But sometimes, I wish there was a definition. Because even though my heart felt like I always loved hard, the broken look on their beautiful faces always had a different story to tell. Maybe, I am just confused. I don't know if I ever loved enough and now, I don't know how to unlove. Love is just so complicated. And when I see others being in so much love, it hurts. I smile knowing that no matter how many wounds I heal or how many times I make love with their name on my lips, it will never be enough. But more than anything, I think love has made me bitter. Because every time I fell in love, a part of me ended up falling out of love with myself at the end. It is sad how love gives so much to some people and takes so much away from some. It is said that there is nothing wrong or right when it comes to love, but now, every time I find myself on the edge of falling in love, I stop because I don't know anymore worth risking another heartbreak?

Have a great day ahead!