Pinterest is basically my home.. I mostly find whatever I want from inside it no lie. Like any other day I was randomly going through it when I stumbled across one gold of  a post that I was not so sure who wrote. It answered a lot of questions that I pondered over for days in such simple and easy words and so for that reason without hesitation I saved the post in my lap under the title "MEANT FOR YOU" all caps. For some reason this post was actually bothering me for reasons I was not so sure about and that's when I knew I HAD to write about it. 

For all these days I had this constant ache inside my heart cos I did not know what I actually meant to him... Are we just friends? or are we more than friends ? or am I his pillar of strength? I've heard him say sometimes that he like to share each and every thing with me... and that he does that only with me... should I be trusting him on that?  I have always searched for reasons to trust him cos if the truth was the other way around you would most probably me all broken and in a zillion pieces. That was for sure.  I'm still not sure what I found in him that makes him different from others... Makes me wanna talk to him about anything and everything and still not get a feeling that I might be disturbing him... not sure what makes him so special that I wanna talk to him but still I don't cos I wanna save the chats for the night so that we have topics to talk about all night long..... not sure why I always feel irritated when he doesn't reply me fast enough even when I have gone AWOL on him without notice for a thousand times before and still blame him for messaging me back three minutes late after I had replied to him after hours of leaving him there, hanging.....

And perhaps what made him different was not his appearance or what he had achieved.. but in his courage and in his audacity to believe no matter how deep the darkness he carried inside of him he could make others smile and feel at ease when with him. Light ran wild within him - in his words , his smile and in the simplicity in which he talked about stuff... not a dread of pride could I find in his speech and ways no matter how hard I searched for it.. and that still amazes me... How I wish he was mine... how I wish he actually meant the things he said about me and how I wish I could tell him back what he meant for me the same way he told me what I meant to him without any fear…I still envy how selfless he is, how beautiful his mind is… Oh! how much I wanted him to be with me and how I wished I could tell him how desperate I am when I am writing this …..