"While bad things do happen, my character and the quality of my life are determined by how I handle them. I can choose to rise above the agony and cherish the most priceless gift I have—life itself—or I can choose to sit in endless sadness, paralysed by the enormity of my loss. Theodore Anderson
Some of us face greater hardship and traumatic experiences than others. We ponder why our problems don't affect the "evil" individuals in the world rather than us. Life unfortunately isn't fair.
Bad things do occur. Most of us will experience terrible events or catastrophes at some point in our life. It's acceptable to cry, feel sorry for yourself, complain about your situation, or become enraged.But eventually you have to move on, let go of the past, and make the decision to not allow it completely overwhelm you. Otherwise, you won't be able to take something positive out from the experience and go on.
I'm not talking about actual clinical depression here. The Merriam-Webster dictionary describes self-pity as "a self-indulgent dwelling on your own sorrows or misfortunes."
Choosing to be self-pitying
We allow self-pity to rule our life when we give in to its depressive grip. We get totally engaged in ourselves. Dwelling on unpleasant experiences and carrying them forward as bitterness and hatred is detrimental. We are not focused on taking charge of our life when we maintain our attention on the hurt.
If we put the blame for our situation in life on other events, we relinquish responsibility and control.
We complain and are self-pitying. We have the option of choosing to expand our suffering or to overcome our current situation.
Selfishness takes the shape of self-pity. We become less sensitive to the needs and suffering of others as a result.In our self-absorbed state, all we can think or care about is our own misery.
The Tony Melendez Story
Tony Melendez was born with a clubfoot and without arms. Despite his hardship, Tony made the decision to be in charge of his own happiness. As much as he was able to, he made his situation better. He exercised sound judgement and assumed accountability for his own future.
Tony is "a man who has spent his life placing personal confidence above his handicap," according to the biography section of his website. How? by mastering the art of toe-picking the guitar!
In Los Angeles, he started his career. Tony is a vocalist and musician who has released several popular albums. In addition, he writes, speaks, and composes.
Tony performed in 1987 in Los Angeles for Pope John Paul II. The Holy Father was affected to the point where he went up to Tony on stage and gave him the assignment "to give hope to all the people."
Tony paid attention to what the pope said. A non-profit organisation called Tony Melendez Ministries offers assistance to people all over the world by providing them with financial support, scholarships, and other forms of compassion.
The tour calendar for Tony Melendez and the Toe Jam Band is jam-packed. Because Tony does not concentrate on himself, there is no room for self-pity in his hectic existence. He selflessly donates to others he perceives as being less fortunate.
However, don't count on Tony to perform at your pity party. He will provide an example for you to follow in overcoming self-pity and will motivate you to live a good life.
You can decide to be proud of yourself and have fun with life! Your level of happiness is entirely up to you. Your personal accountability is required.
So feel free to stay in bed all day, cry, mope, and feel sorry for yourself. Experience the hurt and the pain. Live in your misery and truth. It's OK and even beneficial to do that. Next, let it go!
Keep it from taking over your life. Not at all unloved or alone Keep in mind that you have other loved ones who depend on you. There are individuals that need you that you haven't even met yet! If all you see is yourself, you can't help anyone else.
Although the past cannot be changed, the future may.
