To begin with, the fact that I have to write about this- the prevailing sexism and misogyny in our society- in parts is so disappointing, and on top of that, IT. IS. 2021. PEOPLE.! Why on Earth does it still exist!
Yes, blind people with well-functioning eyes, IT. STILL. EXISTS.!
Okay! Let's start with slut-shaming.
I hope we are clear about this now. Let's begin!
First off, repeat after me-
Clear? If not, read it again!
Is slut-shaming wrong? YES!
Why? Because it is a woman's CHOICE to wear a certain dress, heels, makeup, etc., to drink an eat what she wants and go places she wants to go. She is NOT doing it to “attract” men! She is doing that for herself! A woman's life DOES NOT revolve around men. The fact that women wear makeup under masks proves that they are only doing it for themselves.
If a woman in a short dress gets assaulted/raped. IT IS NOT HER FAULT! STOP VICTIM-BLAMING! SHE IS NOT ASKING FOR IT!
But she is still asked “What were you wearing?" by the police when she tries to file an FIR.
No, sir! It does not matter what I was wearing, it is still not my fault!
ASSAULT IS NOT A COMPLIMENT!
If you are walking down the street without wearing a helmet, does it give me the right to smack your head with a hammer? Because hey, you are asking for it? Right!?
So who is to blame? ASSAULTERS, RAPISTS, MEN!
Really how hard it is to NOT rape someone?
If a girl, at the age of 11-12 can be taught about “good touch” and “bad touch”, how hard do you think it is to teach boys of the same age about respecting a girl's consent, and NOT RAPING?
Our society is so messed up! We focus on the wrong side of the problem EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Thousands of women get raped every year and our society's approach to teaching women to “prevent” rape is WRONG.
2. We are taught not to go to a bar and drink alone or not to leave our drinks unattended. Because the victims who go to the police to file an FIR are asked if they were drunk and are told that they shouldn't have been drunk. So we are being taught that we shouldn't put our guard down even for a moment because “Men will be men"!
At the same time, if a rapist says that he was drunk and thus was not in his senses, HE IS EXCUSED!
3. We are taught not to stay outside alone after dark and not to use a taxi alone, and always pretend to be on a call when are alone and always carry pepper spays because “Men will be men”!
Because by teaching us to “prevent getting raped” you are saying, “Sorry honey we have got a lot of untamed wild animals around here and we can't put them in cages because * cough * they are superior, so it will be “safe” for you to cage yourself.
If you are teaching women to “prevent getting raped”, you are telling them “make sure he rapes the other girl” because there will always be a girl who is less sober, less secure, with fewer friends, walking in a darker part of town.
I want her safe just as much as I want me safe.
If you are a woman, or a “I'm quite aware of what's happening in the society I live in” man, you must have noticed that girls from a young age of 11-12 are asked to change into full-length lowers when their uncles/grandfather/cousins, etc. are about to arrive because “you shouldn't show your shoulders and legs", you are implying that these older men are pedophiles and won't feel “comfortable” if they see their niece/granddaughter/cousin in shorts and tank tops, then YOU SHOULD NOT INVITE SUCH PEOPLE TO YOUR HOME. “It's 45 degrees mom! I want to wear shorts!”
To all those women who were assaulted or raped, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! No matter what the "society" says, IT. IS. NOT. YOUR. FAULT.
NEVER feel guilty about it.
And to the “society”, STOP VICTIM-BLAMING! Nothing an assault victim does/did justifies what happened to them!
Note: I am aware that men get raped and assaulted too, but this blog primarily focuses on women. I will write a different blog about that.
Follow me for the upcoming parts of “Everyday Sexism and Misogyny”.
