Welcome to yet another day, my crazy passion to express myself more through art and less socially!
Before moving forward, I would let you all know that I am the most incompetent person you'll ever see! Stage fears and social anxieties have made me weirdly inexpressible. I just can't talk, I will stammer, if you ever put me on the spot, it feels like someone's grabbing my neck tight enough to choke me and that surely portrays my personality like the best joke you would ever crack. I spread so much happiness!
Well, honestly I feel horrible right after that awkward situation, I am not okay with it. But who cares? Even the most educated and successful person would be flawed in someone's narrative.
And so, art helps me to cope with such disasters I make. Whether it's a poem or a sketch, I am working on, I feel the most myself and a sense of relief or maybe a little happy, I don't know, but it feels good. I love hanging out though, sometimes!
Often I spend my time alone, not because I want to, struggling to do something creative everyday, because I hate to overthink after meeting a whole lot of people out there. Sorry, but even meeting one person feels like I have hundred more stresses to carry! Somedays I win, but for most of the times I fail miserably, leading to outcries and more sadness. Still, I love doing what I am passionate about.
Mostly before planning to write or to sketch something, I feel scared. I am still trying to figure out why, 'cause it's unnecessary! I feel a lot of stress and pressure for nothing at all. It's not like, I have to submit my assignment on time or there's a deadline, but regardless the soreness, sometimes I feel if it's the fear of perfection or if I will succeed. Honestly, I somehow manage to permonish, whether it's going to be a successful one or not, it's the tickle on my palm, I don't know exactly what it is, but if it happens, my sketchwork turns out to be pretty good. For a well explained piece of poetry, I need the vibe, through music, my sadness and the weather outside! Lastly for recitation, I need that weird urge to speak in English, it's my mouth and my tongue suddenly gets heavy and weird. Ugh! Wish I knew what's wrong.
I am however happy, I can carve the most important part of everyone's life, that is "Art".
Thank you for reading!
