How to Win Friends and Influence People Book Summar
Someone rightly said, to impress any person and get them out of work… it's an art and with the help of the principles given in this book, you will learn this art.
By knowing these principles, not only can you increase your confidence, but you can also learn how to influence people in a positive way.
Then whether you are a student, a businessman or whether you want to be famous among your friends. By giving a little time to practice these principles, you can easily get any of your work done by the people around you.
So, first of all, we talk about those fundamental techniques, which you can easily subdue people.
Rule 1 - criticized, condemn or complain
That is, do not criticize, condemn and complain in bitter words of people.
Rule 1 tells us that before criticizing or condemning any person, we should try to understand that person why that person behaves in this way and what is the reason behind this?
Believe the truth, it would be more beneficial than criticizing and condemning it, because by doing this, the person as well as in us also evokes a sense of tolerance.
This principle was also adopted by the great Abraham Lincoln himself. He shared his experience once, saying that I was generally very critical of my opponents but once an opponent was upset with his criticism and threatened to kill him with the sword,
Abraham Lincoln was frightened ever since, and he refused to directly criticize anyone.
Not only this… Lincoln himself states that he started giving the same advice to others that it can be harmful to criticize directly. Therefore, we must always behave properly.
Tip 2 - Give honest and sincere appreciation.
That is, praise the front with full honesty and good intentions.
There is also a way that we can get any person to do anything and the other principle teaches that how we can succeed in doing this if we wholeheartedly and sincerely praise a person. Its leave impression on the person's heart and mind throughout his life.
He always cherishes this praise of yours and in such a situation it becomes imperative that he accepts what you said, and likes you.
For example, the construction site manager had to face a big problem when the workers used to wear safety head gear / helmet after obeying him in front of them… .But they would have removed the helmet as soon as they left.
In such a situation, the manager adopted a different approach. This time he lovingly told the laborers that he did not like these helmets? Or is their fitting bad? If it is not so, they should wear these helmets,
Because they are made for their protection only. They do not want their precious laborers to get hurt. On hearing this, the workers started wearing helmets daily from that time, and this method of that manager came in handy.
Tip 3 - To make curiosity in another person's mind i.e. to motivate or encourage people positively.
The simple example of this is, when you have a very strong idea, never let people think that the idea is yours but dissolve it in the mind of the people very intelligently so that they think this idea is not only yours But also theirs.
By doing this, people will prove to be even more helpful by considering it as their plan. We can easily use this psychological thinking in our professional life.
Author Dale Carnegie shares his own experience, stating that once at the Brooklyn Institute of Arts and Science, he wanted to invite very successful writers for guest lectures.
The problem was that all the writers were very busy, so Dell reached for some time and wrote a letter with 150 students and sent these articles.
On reading this letter, all these adult writers left their respective countries and reached to deliver a speech in Brooklyn. After all, what was written in that letter?
Actually Dell took advantage of this principle. All 150 students had signed on that letter, and pleaded with those writers that if a great writer like them would take their time and teach them, it would be a matter of pride for those students.
Brother, anyone reading this letter will melt. So this was some trick to control the people around you. Now we hope that you too will strengthen your social skills dealing with people.
You would also agree that any person does the work of that person or hears the talk of the person whom he likes!
Then let us also hear about those techniques with the help of which people will start liking you.
1 - Become genuinely interested in other people.
That is to show our interest in people in the right way
If you want people to like you, and if you want to maintain true friendship, then always keep this principle in mind.
If you want to become someone's true friend, then we have to invest our time as well as our mind with utmost sincerity and keep our selfishness out.
A very good example of this is that when we start a friendship with someone and if we talk the same language in the same initial time, then that person likes us more. Now by this we do not mean that you mix yes with the people.
For example, what can be the secret of any successful business interview?
Former Harvard President W.D. According to Eliot, there is no big secret behind a successful business interview. Here you have to do only one thing, and that is to listen very closely to the person in front.
Show great interest in them, because if you give importance to them, then they also give you tremendous responses.
2 - Remember, his name is most important for any person, irrespective of their language.
His own name is most important for every human being. Otherwise, everyone wants to brighten their name just like that.
The famous writer Shakespeare has aptly said "What's in a name?" That means "what is there in the name?"
But Sir, he has probably forgotten that what is most important for every person is his name, because we are different from each other because of the name.
The name is the identity of every human being, and if we call a person by his name, then it proves more effective, and you can try this principle with a lower class than yourself. Such as a drawer, waiter or peon.
Everyone likes to hear their name.
Principle 3 - Talk about the interest of another person.
If we want to talk to someone without being bored for a long time, then we have to keep this principle that we should talk about that person's interest.
This will make the talks of both of you even more fun and will go on for a long time.
Like if we meet a person for the first time and he keep talking only about themselves, then person's interest will be seen gradually decreasing.
But if we talk about his interest with that person, then along with you that person will also enjoy talking to you.
Now, as William Lyon, a professor of literature, says, when he was 10 years old, he used to spend weekends with his aunt.
One evening a middle-aged man came to meet his aunt and after spending some time with his aunt, he focused all his attention on the little William.
At that time, he was very interested in boats, so those guests also started talking to him about boats. They enjoyed talking to the man a lot,
And as soon as he left from there, william started praising him. But he was shocked when his aunt told him that the man was a lawyer in New York,
And he was not really interested in bots, he was just trying to talk to you and he was listening to you so much because he is a very good person.
Principle 6 - Give importance to people and make them feel that they are special.
As we told in Rule 5 that it is very important to awaken the interest of another person and it is possible to talk about that person's interest,
And now we get to know from this principle that it is equally important to prove that person special. It is very important that other human beings start feeling from our words that they mean a lot to us. This will deepen the relationship between you and that person.
You will understand this principle from this short story -
One day David was driving home to his drunken friends late in a safe car after a party late at night. But despite seeing the sign board, David deliberately took a wrong turn and then he was stopped by a traffic police officer,
He asked David "Do you know why I stopped you?" Now if David had given a rough reply to the traffic police like the rest of the people in this situation, he would have been trapped,
But David admitted his mistake with great understanding and honesty and also said "Forgive me sir, I know that I have made a mistake and despite seeing the sign board, I took a wrong turn, whatever the penalty. I am ready to fill. Thank you very much for your duty. The country needs a police officer like you ”.
Now on hearing this, it is as if David has mixed honey in the ears of the police officer. He not only forgave David but also complimented on the responsibility of returning his license to home to drunken friends. And let them go from there without penalty. Brother, Wow David !!!
So you see friends, now you know all these principles well, then practice them and see how people around you will start liking you.
How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking…. this part will be covered in second part ,if you want secomd part please let me know, I will make the second part .
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