Generally we focus on past and future alone not so much on present. And as a result our “present” is influenced by memories of past and uncertainty of future, so what we focus on life is:

“ past and future which are influenced by our experience.”

These experiences create our reality our feelings become dependent on these experiences and as a result we think and feel the worst. This is due to fear of past and anticipation of future.

As a result what we feel is anxiety, scared, hurt, insecure and frustration. This understanding can help us in knowing where our emotions come from and  reflect on what we are feeling and why.

 This  makes us emotionally aware and receptive. Our process of healing and overcoming our life hurdles also begins from this understanding.

We generally do this by attaching label to our memories as good-bad, happy-sad, negative-positive….and so on. as a result our future vision is based on past and we assume the worst case scenario.

This scenario shifts focus from our ideal self goals and gets us stuck in present sate alone. this is mainly due to habitual patterns we have created, based on how we have handled life situations and crisis and experience we have.

So when as a counsellor I am asked:

 why change is so difficult?

my reply is; What we are focusing upon is creating barrier in the process because our feelings attached to them are painful. Hampering the process of change and making it difficult.

The gap between what we are (present state) and what we want to be(ideal state) leads to despair, hopelessness and helplessness.

How do we change this focus?

We need to change this anticipation of future based on our past. we have to realize that we can not project past on to the future. we need to shift our focus to “ now” the present and present only.

We have to accept that past is history and future is mystery. only thing we have control over is present. we need to experience present as it is, in its totality to experience our true feelings.

This shift in perspective will lead to faith in our self and make us more mindful and aware of our present. This will give us hope to have new experience and see happy emotions so that we feel inspired, optimistic, loved, fulfilled, respected and confident.

So all we need to do is shift our focus and our feelings will also change. This is a choice we need to make for our own self and no one else. At the end of the day  ‘I’ alone matter and “I” alone can change my thought patterns and limiting beliefs.