crisis and problems are inevitable in our life. In our life situation we go through lot of crisis situation some times they are life changing experiences which have great impact on us emotionally, mentally and physically.

these high stress situation can be from death in a family to divorce to loss of job or terminal illness. The pain ,trauma and feeling of helplessness that accompanies it is very confusing.

We have to understand that to heal is a process whether it is emotional, physical or psychological. generally during this time our moods and feelings are very volatile and swing between guilt, anger, shame and  hopelessness.

adjustment and healing is different for each individual, there is no time line to it, it can be long and time consuming, it can be painful and difficult, it can coexist with other issues also; But still you need to give your self time and go through the process.

There are five basic stages of healing from any kind of grief or trauma. these stages can last for different time and replace each other and at the same time coexist. So let us know these five stages of emotional healing.

These five stages are:

Denial and Shock

At this stage there is disbelief and numbness along with shock. you do not agree that something like this has happened and you pretend that it has not happened at all. This stage gives you time to slowly acknowledge and absorb the loss and gradually process it. you will experience lot of pain and sorrow which is part of process but it will ultimately help you become aware of emotions you have been hiding, as they will rise.

example of this stage is “this is not happening”, “It will be ok tomorrow”,

Anger and Pain

This is a stage where you try to mask your feelings and hide your emotions and pain that you are experiencing. in this stage you may transfer feeling of anger and pain on inanimate things or god or even blame someone else. but once that anger and pain has been released you are able to think rationally and accept the emotions and feelings you have been pushing away.

example of this stage is:" there is no god", “ they are terrible people, I hate them".

Bargaining and Negotiation

In this stage you create a lot of “If's” and “buts”, we try to negotiate things and start creating a temporary state of truce. we even try to bargain with pain and negotiate our way out of the hurt. In this stage at times we feel if we bargain or act differently things will change and all will be ok. in healing emotionally bargaini9ng is important because it helps you negotiate your pain and feelings and brings clarity to your thought process.

example of this stage is: “I wont do this again”,  “If Only I would have spent more time with them, I could have stopped it.”

Depression and Isolation

This is a quite stage of healing. At times we isolate ourselves from others in order to cope with loss in our own manner. In this stage we can feel overwhelmed ,confused and heavy. We start believing no one understands us and  at times we can get stuck here. at this stage we can talk to someone or an expert who can help us move past this.

example of this stage: “Why go on at all”, “I don't know how to move on”

Acceptance and Moving On

This stage is a phase where we put things into perspective and try to carry forward. This is a very gradual process where we try to accept the new possibilities and options to move forward. In this stage we have come to understanding what this means. we begin to put pieces of your life together and look at new possibilities.

example of this stage: “This is a right choice”, “ I will move forward”

The important thing you need to remember is healing is a process and no one experience is same and you need to take your time and remember its a personal experience.

Ultimately you need to remember healing does not mean the pain won't be there, but it means that it no longer controls us.