6. If you don't have children, you won't feel complete as a woman.
For many people, having children is crucial to their happiness—possibly even essential. However, becoming a parent is not the end-all and be-all for some people, including me.
Seattle native Rachel, 33, is content with her life as it is. She claims, "I value my sleep and I like making myself the priority." In addition, I manage my own company, which is effectively my child. Additionally, my spouse and I debate the wisdom of bringing a child up in current political environment.
Additionally, there is the implied claim that becoming a mother endows you with superpowers. "Once you've had three kids, you can handle anything," my coworkers who are parents often say, "says Jade, 35, also from Seattle. "I know they don't mean anything by it, but even if you don't have any children, you can still be resilient," she said.
Amber, a 37-year-old from New York, believes it all boils back to how society so strictly defines women. "Who are you to set that standard for what a woman is? Why do you want to restrict what it means to be a woman to a specific range of experiences?
7. "I didn't believe you would want to visit. It will just be parents and children.
Since I'm single and have a lot of close friends who are married, I worry about this when they start having kids. They might believe they are saving me from a dull day, but I don't want my time with friends to be limited just because I don't have kids. Not to mention, Aunt Jager wants to celebrate if we're celebrating a close friend's child.
It's simple to start feeling like an outsider when your friends start having kids, says Lauren, a 27-year-old from Mercer Island, Washington. I'll always be grateful for an invitation to a child's birthday because of this. It's up to me to decline if I don't want to go. But I'll be there for a genuine friend. Whether or whether I desire children of my own, if they are important to me, then their child is important to me.
8. Since you don't have children, you wouldn't understand.
Parents commonly use this to end conversations on a variety of subjects, including politics, finances, and scheduling. A person's feelings or way of life are sometimes discounted only because they don't have children.
There is no denying that having children changes your viewpoint, but does that mean those of us without children should be subjected to a one-upmanship contest? Comments like this are insulting because most people can understand and even sympathise with a scenario or sentiment, even if they haven't personally experienced it.
Recent events put 35-year-old Seattle resident Riya in this predicament, and she felt terribly upset by the "no kids card." She claims, "I don't even know if I can have kids. "That doesn't imply that I have no knowledge of them. They should be ashamed for assuming that.
I can still be there to listen even though I'll always understand when a friend turns to another parent to chat about child-related issues. I hope they feel the same way about me because I'd like to know what matters most to them.
9. "Until you have children, you won't understand real love."
Simply expressed, this remark is extremely invalidating and degrading. I may not be able to fully understand the all-consuming love that many parents experience, but I do understand what love is.
Even Brooklyn mom Claire, age 31, thinks this is impolite. "I had more than one person tell me before getting pregnant that I wouldn't understand'real love' or'my true capacity for love' until I had a child of my own," she says. "I truly found that disrespectful. Like I couldn't possibly love someone "enough" without having a child first.
Not to mention: It is in no way anyone's responsibility to determine what love means to another individual.
10. Being childless is selfish.
I don't know what it's like to be a parent who entirely sacrifices themselves, but I believe that everyone has the right to live their life as they see fit, including me and my childless friends. These decisions also don't imply that we're leading wildly extravagant lives.
It's also not like having children automatically makes you more able to act selflessly. "As a child abuse survivor who now works with foster children, I know there isn't some magical switch that flips selflessness on when you have kids," says Amber. "And I know a lot of people who don't have kids who are incredibly loving and selfless towards their family, friends, and even strangers," the author continued.
Amber's irritation with people "who feel the need to categorise their choices as 'right' or 'normal,' and impose them on others,'" is what it finally boils down to. Personally, I believe that we can all become more empathetic and understanding. We could all use a little work, parents or not.
So Please be responsible
