Hola amigos, 

Hope you all are doing great during this pandemic.

Does anyone feel the fear of death? thought about you will not be alive tomorrow? You won't see your kids growing or being a part of someone's life because you are dead.

Fear of death came to me after I lost my father at the age of 3 and at that time I didn't know what losing a family member was, as I grew up I knew that he is never going to come back. I still remember the day when they were preparing for his last rituals and I asked my maushi (maid) that what are they preparing for and she said its nothing, but I remember my mom saying see him or the last time he is going away and will never come back. But today I realize what his presence mattered in our lives.

Every time I see a dead body it shivers me out, not easy isn't it? It's always a missing space in the house, a member is missing in your life and your house, though he/she is present in you around you forever that empty present space cannot be fulfilled. 

But one day you will realize that they are not missing they are within you, they guide you like your guardian angel and if you're on the wrong path they help you through those by not being there.  Believe it or not would are there and they guide you I your dreams, through our daily chaos and life and they are not gone it's just the body that is left the earth but their soul never dies and they belong to where they were.

My father has been my guiding angel always, he makes me struggle but helps me get up when I'm lost, he has been my strength and will always be, through breakups whenever I told my father to guide me if this guy is not right for me and he always did through some or the other way. Their spirit is always around us, but still, the fear of not being alive one day still shivers me I don't want to leave this earth but I know the day I leave this earth I will meet my father someday, so this feeling puts me at peace but his soul is still alive in me.