Let's talk about those nights where you just lay down and you open the door this door of thoughts, this might bring you agony or euphoria. You may experience idyllic or overwhelmed with grief. all the mistakes you have done so far in your life, all the heart breaks. flashback hits you. Nauseating pain you experience at this very moment, any other person may or may not be able to understand the agony. It is like gaping wound.

It's like watching same footage over and over. You can also play your favorite parts but you kept skipping into darkness. It's like as if all the pain you experienced in your life resurfaced. Beyond the pale. You just keep playing this part of your life. You Do not find comfort in this but you feel sad about how you felt at that very moment, you were hurt. You know memories are directly related to how you felt at that time. 

ill-treatment, misuse, abuse you have gone through, all the failures you experienced no one knows better than you. All the things you thought was right and it turned out to be wrong. 

Life is like a riddle you really don't want to solve it. 

You take the inventory of all the incidents and just feel like you can't take it anymore. You feel lonely you wanna cry out loud you want to share all your pain. Your broken heart. You feel suffocated you deal like you are buried in the ocean of pain and this heaviness you feel in your heart fill your future with darkness. Not every one knows strain of loneliness. 

At some point  every person go through this these are bleeding nights some might have bleeding days laying down in bed, all the questions keep looping in your head. You just can't figure your way out of this you just lay there and think about how you could have changed the things how you can make the changes to make everything right but now the time is gone but what you got after all this fury hatred for self. 

What if I tell you you could reverse it just let's assume for a second in this whole journey of your life the footage we just played is there only suffering ? Is there anything you like about it? Yes or no ?

Even so what if we grab the happiest moments from the  footage of the life. Stop lying to your self that you had only suffered. Stop feeling Reluctant.

Why you're not counting the small wins,the moments you groped, why you are not seeking your Happiness. Remember the first ride, the first love, first walk, run , your dance , your first performance what about all those appreciations you got, what about the achievements ,?

You was so full with negations that you corroded your heart and soul.

Just imagine instead of counting your heartaches if you'd have counted the blessings, happiness.

Stop for a moment, just think about how it be, The vivid Evocation of the life made you feel like you're actually living it. Imagine elation and sudden rush through out your nerves and this feeling taking over your body. This is happiness it can be a person, a habit, a hobby, a place, a moment. You just have to look around it and you'll see it.