It's been long, I know. There is lots happening and I am not finding myself the time to write. I don't want to get used to not doing this. I want to do a lot of things and writing is definitely one of them. I am not talking about these journals and experiences, which I like to write because that helps me get things off my mind. What about stories? Isn't that my passion? Isn't that what I really want to do?

Now, coming to the topic of discussion, here. It is hard to understand people's intent. You can't afford to be too kind and soft or too distant cold because chances are, they take advantage of you. Be at work, or at class, or somewhere else. That is where you place your boundaries. But sometimes, you can't afford to be that warm and soft as their intent would be to rip you off (not literally, by the way.)

No one cares what you really feel so you can't expect them to take care for you. Well, I don't. Not anymore. Usually, I am a bit more approachable but otherwise neutral which I don't mind being one. I am seemingly ‘the soft guy’ and that is where people take advantage of. The smiles are a delight to watch but we should be aware of what they are hiding behind that smile. You can't afford to react sternly as it can backfire and be held against you. But you do what you gotta do. This is the reality. Life isn't a fairy tale and it is only going to get harder. There will be times you will be on the verge of breaking down. 

Maybe, that is one reason I kind of distance myself from people. While at work, I work and if I am too much into it, I feel I am being used. Sure, I would like some company and I try to indulge myself in one, and sometimes people take advantage of that by asking me to do things I don't want to or have to do for that and when I refuse, I was blamed and they say, ‘No wonder you don’t have any friends.'

Which is why I don't get too close to anyone, I am not too attached to anyone, and I am fine with that. If someone tries to be too friendly, I don't give in too much. sure, I am polite but most of the time, I turn a cold heart. Does that make me a bad person? Do I have to care about that? Because, I am done being the victim and I know why I am acting the way I am acting. Sure, some changes here and there. But there's no fudge brownie frappe way that I am walking back to where I used to be earlier. I am no longer a people-pleaser; I only smile and acknowledge if I am being acknowledged; I am neutral while serving customers; pleasant with some, and cold with others (especially the ones who we know is a pain in the a##.).