on the night of my Abitur, it hit me; the familiar faces and places I've known for the past 12 years would soon change.
a few weeks ago, when I put on my hat and gown, this fear and reality was beginning to creep into my mind. as I stood there looking in the mirror, I thought, “how did I get here”.
somehow I went from being his 7years schoolgirl to being his 18 years old teenager.
when graduation ended early the next morning, I found myself closing a chapter in my life-his one of exploration, development, struggle, and growth. many of my classmates have been together since kindergarten. we have travelled together and watched each other grow from childhood innocence to the prejudices of growing up as young people.
we've gone from adorable five-years-old with no worries in the world to adolescent clumsiness and a struggle to fit into society's stereotypes.
in a way they were like family. comfortable like an old sweater. to ground me when I need a remember that I belong to something bigger than myself.
it was a bittersweet moment in my life. I knew that life wouldn't end after I graduated, and that opportunities would always come my way, but it also mean living the security and safety that I had relied on for 12 years.
as I held my hat up high, I knew it was time to say goodbye…
when I got a call from him aunt that summer morning, I was not at all surprised to found out that him grandmother had passed away.
her wife and I had just visited him that night before and felt that him quiet look was him way of saying goodbye to us.
my relationship with him has been replaceable - from a wild child to a young married adult, a vital party of my being, it is also a source that I cherish.
a few years ago she gave me a photo album of him that he started making from the day I was born. his album of photos dedicated to my life, where him kept hard-earned photos, her concert programs, and other memorabilia behind him sheets of clear vinyl.
throughout the funeral, I was amazed at my complete composure over this incredibly sad event. but as the church organ began to rumble and the coffin rolled down the aisle, I couldn't hold my back tears.
it was a bittersweet moment in my life.
deep down I knew he was sick and tired of being held captive by him physical illness, but it was hard to accept that I would never see him again in this mortal life . it's just
as I wiped away my tears and headed for the cemetery, I realized that it was almost time to say goodbye…
