She sat there, unmoving, as her coworkers walked by, some with hurried footsteps, others at a leisurely pace. The chatter in the office was loud, but faded into a buzz in her mind.

A coworker had come up to her with coffee in hand, seeking a quick mid day chat to relieve the tension of the work day. She had responded with silence, though she looked up and into her coworker’s eyes. Her coworker seemed unnerved by her unwavering gaze and lack of a response, and awkwardly turned to walk away.

She turned her attention back to her screen. Her to-do list was shown in the corner of her screen, and once again, she numbly took in the list of tasks for the day.

But her mind stayed unfocused, deadened. She couldn’t register what it was that she should be doing. She couldn’t pick a task to start with. So she sat there, staring at her screen, unmoving.

Normally, the thought of her family, who were relying on her to provide and the large debt she was in, would propel her into action. But today, they merely nudged the surface of her thoughts, and retreated in defeat.

Her eyes wandered to the notification which had popped up and stayed on her screen.

“Happy 10th Work Anniversary! You’re amazing, long-timer!”

The message continued to weigh on her, crush her in her seat.

She wasn’t supposed to be here for 10 years. She was supposed to be here for at most three years, after which, she’d have made enough money to pay off a substantial amount of her debt. She’d also have made enough progress to move on to another company, in a role she actually enjoyed.

10 years. The sinking sense of failure gained mass and density, slowly suffocating her as she sat.

She couldn’t leave the company yet. Her family needed her. The debt lingered in its substantiality. Life hadn’t turned out the way she wanted. Perhaps she would leave, anyway.

She thought of her parents and the fear she’d see in their faces, when she told them that she had quit her job. She thought of the debt building up, with the medical fees for her parents. She thought of herself alone, at home with her parents, caring for them 24/7, less the current helper.

She would have to stay on. Or find another job before she left. But where could she go, with a boss who wouldn’t give her a good referral, a lack of qualifications, no unique skillset and a sluggish economy?

She spent much of the morning stiff in her seat, staring blankly at her screen. No one bothered her. They could tell that something was off, and they had the basic decency to not push her about it. That was a plus point, she guessed. Her colleagues had some decency.

When lunch time came, the office emptied out. No one bothered her about having lunch together. Finding the office near empty, she started to weep silently, tears rolling down her cheeks, but with no other discernible movement, not even a sniffle.

The tears flowed for a full 15 minutes. Then she roused herself, sat straighter, clicked to delete the notification, and went back to work.