This blog is for all who feel like today is the end and quickly decide that suicide is the best option. I am really emotional as I am writing this ..so if at all anyone is getting hurt as you read I sincerely apologize right now.

This is an event that took place and I am just saying it as a third person. I wish that after you read this you will rethink  your decision to die not because you feel great but thinking about what your family undergoes after your decision.

This is about my colleague who is in her early thirties and what she went through as her brother decided suicide solves everything. So let me tell you about her family first before I explain the incident. She is the youngest among the five and lives with her father and mother. Her brother being the only son was pampered and brought up in the best way possible. After his marriage with whom he loved he moved to a separate room within the the same compound. She meets him everyday but they cook for themselves which is the only thing that occurred through partition of the room.

Now coming to the day of incident, she even shouted at him for making noise with her sister's daughter when she was working. He is staying at home with no job and good amount of drinking so it was a common sight for elder sister's kid to play with him. She had even spoken to me about casual things that noon and nothing seemed out of the normal. Later as it was nearing evening he ended his life by hanging when his younger sister was in the next room. 

After she got to know about the incident she brought him down as he was hanging and rushed him to the hospital who rejected him and she brought him back home. Seeing him her elder sister, the kid fainted and she had to rush them to hospital leaving her dead brother behind. By the time she returned, he was changed from the clothes he was wearing( unfortunately it was burnt which I assume is custom am not sure) and placed in an ice box. As it was a suicide she had to report to the police who were furious that the dress was burnt and she had to run between pillars to get postmortem done at midnight and got back his body by next day noon. After finishing all the rites she was back home.  Home was now a mess as her sisters had picked up a fight with her brother's wife, mom was functioning like a machine having hardly any reaction, kids all in a shock and her dad whom she used to shout for drinking was now drinking from what she bought and gave!Her sister in law refused to be part of the funeral services and she couldn't do anything but oblige!

Even now she has to run to the police station for clearance certificate as her finger prints are everywhere on his body when she carried to hospital making her a witness and there are issues as his dress was burnt and only after that she can go collect the postmortem report. After all these ordeal she has to run for a death certificate. These were her words thinking about all this:" world is teaching me to find where to go to get what is needed"…it breaks my heart when I think of her. She has to run errands for the family as all are upset, take care of all formalities and still be haunted by his memories and guilt as she was home when he died but couldn't help. She was actually looking for an alliance for herself which has come to an abrupt stop due to this. 

I know my friend that you won't read this as you are not on platform and I know I wasn't of much help due to this pandemic situation but I hope no one else suffers and undergoes through what you went through… You were really brave and my bravest friend at that.. Be strong as you always have been..

Sorry that this is all I could do as her friend…..