When sadness is set in motion, particularly if there is a hereditary predisposition, it can be like that annoying relative who likes to "drop in" unexpectedly. This is particularly true of bipolar disorders' depressive periods and melancholic sadness, as described in "The Darkest Mood."
Even if someone is unhappy due to a life event, it is invalidating and dismissive to ask them what they are depressed about in an attempt to comprehend their condition or "put things in perspective" for them. It's almost like saying they were stupid to allow it to become that bad. While the way we think about things definitely affects how we feel, changing the way we think about things to feel better is not as simple as flipping a switch.
People don't come with a reset button that they accidentally forgot to press while under pressure. Possible causes of a depressive episode during a stressor include a problematic core schema that has been ingrained since childhood (e.g., "No matter what I do, it won't turn out right, and this latest fumble is just another confirmation of my inadequacy") or simmering existential conflicts like a lack of meaning or a sense of belonging.
Given the breadth of these instances, it is obvious that the question "What do you have to be depressed about?" probably has a long answer, even if the individual appears to have their life together. Someone can still be hurting even if they seem to have their act together.
It's unlikely that someone who suffers from generalised depression has ever heard one of these remarks and thought, "Jeez, I never thought of that!" If "snapping out" of it had been that simple, they would have done it.
The advise to "just imagine cheerful thoughts" is also useless; if depression were merely a contest between positive and negative imagery, nobody would experience it. Yes, cognitive therapy aids in reshaping the deeply held basic beliefs that support depression, but it goes beyond “simply thinking positive ideas.”
Perhaps thinking of things that make them happy is related with what they currently lack since they are so miserable, making "happy thoughts" more challenging. Furthermore, while it is undeniable that negative thought patterns are associated with depression, it is ineffective to try to alter thoughts when they are caused by neurovegetative/cognitive side effects such lethargy, agitation, problems with sleep and food, and difficulty focusing.
