Disclaimer: I am just jotting down my thoughts in this article please don't take any offense or take it to heart. 

I make it clear in my head that I shouldn't expect, don't expect don't expect I keep repeating this mantra in my head, but my heart still expects those things even when it knows that you shouldn't expect things but still it hurts. 

Before I used to think that it's okay not to have a relationship tag or at least know where I stand in that person's life, I felt if you have love and great understanding it will be all good but here I am feeling like a variable. I now realize how much important that is to have a tag in a person's life, whether it may be a friend, lover, spouse, etc. Having a tag not only tells us where we stand in that person's life and helps us make our boundaries because when we love someone we put them forward for everything we do in our life. It drags us from our fantasy dreamland with that person to reality. These variable alienating feeling are so frustrating that it destroys your whole peace. 

I never like the idea of casual dating but ironically I did download bubble hoping to find my always and forever, no doubt it was a wonderful experience but I feel like I fell into the same mess I was before. In a relationship, I always craved for time, not the whole, of course, everyone has their own personal space but at least 5 mins of happy talk every day so that we both could take away the exhaustion of the day, but I guess the saying is right .." what one craves is difficult to find the others come with ease."

It's really hard to ruin the things like they are going on, you wanna keep them at the same time they keep confusing you. I don't understand how to face these feelings, how to turn them into optimistic thoughts how to trust, keep the faith and keep going, till I learn I guess I am just gonna escape these by being busy. I just hope things get better and my mind much clearer. 

–  sometimes the best thing you can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine, not obsess. Just breathe and have faith that everything will work out for the best.

--Krishnapriya