I said goodbye to Devika when I got off the bus and walked to my aunt's house. The house is empty. I opened the door with the spare key and entered. The void in the house felt like the void in my chest. I went upstairs debating about what I wanted to do. I decide to take a nap without changing from my uniform. I toss and turn unable to sleep, my eyes red and puffy from crying all day in the toilet. Eventually my eyes shut from all the exhaustion.

 My aunt has returned, I can hear her calling me to eat. I am not hungry. I feel sick on an empty stomach. I don't want to cry, I don't want to do anything. It hurts, my heart hurts like it is getting crushed. I yell that I am going to the loo and contemplate what to do next. I decide to go to the washroom afterall. I change my clothes. Wear the tshirt I wore for the past 4 days. The washroom, it looks messy, my aunt is definitely gonna scold me I guess. I watch myself in the mirror for sometime playing with a scissor in another.

After five minutes I am still staring at myself in the mirror, pale…the life force draining out of me. My hand in the sink is floating in a pool of red mush. It looks so fascinating. It doesn't hurt anymore. My heart doesn't ache anymore. I have never thought it would come to something so dreadful for me to stop thinking about it….about him. The lights feel fainter and I feel really tired. I decide to just sit on the floor and enjoy the feeling of the absence of hurt. Someone bangs the door. They are calling out my name. “Riya…..open the door, what are you doing in there for so long?”. Perhaps the excuse to go to the loo before eating dinner didn't pay off. I am just too tired to reply. As I drowse off to oblivion, my only doubt is about how death feels. The banging is getting louder. I come back to my senses. The door breaks open. My aunt rushes in and finds me there on the floor covered in blood. A scream, a crash, lots of cries, sirens , arguments are the only things I remember. I open my eyes to bright lights and a lot of faces.