May be the title looks little cringy. so be my 2022.

I never rode roller coaster in my life, but the phrase life's a roller coaster has been the best fit for this year. After my graduation i waited for the fellowship, i thought i would get hands on this, but i couldn't make it. The person whom i trust most broke my heart. I really have no idea of what's going on and what's going to happen by the middle of this year. I was scared. i've been backed up by 4 persons to whom i am very grateful till day. At first i thought, it would be easy as i have them. But eventually i was scared, as i would make them hurt. 

The one person whom i thought, would be more understanding, seems to be irrational. I know she was right in few things, i thought she would be kind, but unfortunately, i couldn't see that. It was really a hell to chose. I don't know if i was partially a reason for all these things. life seems to be irrational in every single of this year.
And i was really confused to this moment, did it ever happened? i don't know if i am going in right direction? is this the future i want? is he the one i would want to be with? is this the life i chose to live? are these people going to be rational? will they be kind, even if they are right? does it remain same? do my thoughts show some rationality? do i trust him with all my heart? many questions popped up when i was in the mess. I was trying hard to not to remember them, but sometimes, those memories used to haunt me. at that time i got to know that, its easy to forgive a person rather than forgetting memories. 

I used to be very enthusiastic, curious and mischievous sometimes. Even in education, i used to be bright child, but these days, i couldn't concentrate, i couldn't make up room for research. my guide who's been kind to me, waited a lot for me to help. My parents, who's been more understanding than ever, helped me to cope up with all the crazy things i am going through. they said when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. But life gave me thorn apple this year. 

i don't want my life to be easy, but i also don't want to be the same. i really hope with all these experiences i should make better choices in every aspect. Life's really hard. i hope sometimes, it would end, but i am glad that i managed to survive. 

Congratulations to everyone who made till day. Hope you have a better morning each day.