No, I am not okay. My heart aches, my eyes are filled with tears, and my face, cover with dark circles and keeping a fake smile is now tired. Have you ever thought of going alone? Somewhere, where all you can have is you, nature, and the best part is, Peace. But the worst part is, I live in India. I am not hating the country, It's just we didn't get much freedom here to do anything. To meet anyone I want to, To go anywhere I want to. I am locked up, in my own house by my parents and this is suffocating. I can't breathe.
Today is Diwali, It supposes to be my favorite festival. But it doesn't excite me anymore. There is nothing happy about this festival. And you realize this when you see thoroughly where is your life going. The truth, the reality. Festivals are overrated in this country. And this is my opinion. I respect what is yours.
I am a little broken, it isn't healing for the past few days. Time is the strongest weapon. One day you're feeling like you take this world to the next level and the next day, it is all gone, in vain. You're nothing. Despite being a burden to your family, friends, and everybody you are close to a day before. That's how time treats you. From a powerful, favorite person to a powerless, anonymous person.
Is it okay to cry for someone who matters to you a lot? I guess maybe, I did. Cried a lot. The dark circles are the proofs. But has this person would cried for you even? Yeah, mine did. But time changes people too, and for them, from the most important people to the most anonymous ones. We let them play with us. Perhaps, I did something that hurts that person. Maybe a mistake. But wouldn't you try to make it correct? Yes definitely, I did the same. Apologizing. Funny, how a mistake can change a person's behavior towards you. It can totally break you. The one you used to call your best person, is now avoiding you.
Losing my patience, I am trying everything despite being broken to make that person feel how guilty I am. He stopped listening to me. He stopped replying to my messages. He stopped sending me snaps. And that's where I realized, how my one mistake took away the person I value the most. He could've at least talked to me, he could've at least hugged me and said to me that it's okay, everyone makes mistakes, he could've at least told me, you would still be my person, no matter what could be the reason. If he really wanted to. But no, in spite, he chose to distance himself. He chose to treated me like trash. He chose to break me. And that's okay. He took his decision, I'll take mine.
