People close to me say that I have changed a lot and yes I agree to them.  I have changed  my habits, my character, my hobbies, my identity. I have changed myself. I don't know whether it is positive or negative change but I'll try to make it out how is it effecting me. 

If I look at myself what I was one year ago is that I was an introvert. Not many friends and not someone whom I can share my feelings with. Loved to talk to myself and kept all my emotions upto me. 

I loved being alone, I enjoyed my own company. Never went to parties or get together with friends. Even I didn't knew the locations of all the destinations to hangout. I was such a person who never had a habit of posting pictures on social media. I remember that my character never allowed emotions to control my personality. Whatever the situation was, I never let my mind to be on two ways. No insecurities, no fear of losing anything. I was focussed to my goals and I had no means of distraction. 

All these are my character traits that I miss now and want them back. Things have changed in last one year for me. I'm totally changed. I am a extrovert now. Now I don't hesitate in sharing my thoughts. I have got a handful of friends now. From being the silent person of my group , I'm now the one who chatters a lot. Attending parties regularly and traveling across with my friends and posting pictures often. From being emotionally strong to now getting emotional on small things. My mind has now started overthinking. Getting depressed on silly things and feeling demotivated and left out sometimes. My mind has now suspicious and now I'm having trust issues a lot. 

All these are some of the changes that I witness in myself. And that is the reason why I'm missing myself. I'm missing my own identity. I'm searching for the character that I was a year ago. All these changes in me are the results of my actions. The results of what I did to compete with this modern world, the actions to impress someone and to mark my presence  among my colleagues. I was comfortable with my older version. My new version leaves me feeling not confident and unhappy. In want of being loved and gain attention I have changed myself and now I'm not okay with this. 

I'll try my best to deal with this and bounce back with my older version. I'll bring back my old identity and back myself confidently. 

Thankuh❤️