Continuation from part 4, Redemption! Is there any such thing as redemption? How is it that you go back in time to stop yourself from having the very first cigarette of you life? Is that possible? Or how can one go back in time to change ones decision about bunking their classes and going to movies or smoking hookah? Or is it possible to change that part of the life where I chose to start smoking not because it was cool but because I felt I lacked something in me and needed to smoke it out? Is it possible? It isn't! 

So what can be done? I am trying hard to get all the tobacco out of my body which is caused by smoking multiple times every single day for the past 4 years. So is this what people call redemption? I guess not. This is me trying to change myself and trying to create a new version of me.

I try to put my mind into various other things but at the end of the day, the thought that I still lack something kills me deep down. I sit and think to myself what is it that I lack? Only to find out that I didn't smoke a cigarette and then I go and buy some and smoke it. Soo all the day of not smoking will come up to be a waste by just a single thought of a cigarette. I think to myself does smoking make you a bad person? If yes, when did I end up being bad? Was it in these years or was it in the 9th standard? 

I am pretty sure, if not today someday I will get this out of my body. I am trying as hard as possible from years actually. But there's a slight difference, this time it ain't going to be for me. I am going to stop it for someone whom I promised 💕 some months back (maybe a year back) that I would quit smoking and I couldn't keep it up. So hoping it all goes as planned. I am going to be a better person. This is going to be my final blog about my addiction with cigarettes. So I'd asked something in the beginning, when did the addiction start? According to me it started way back in the 9th when I chose to listen to my friend “X” and “Y”, though they are not to be blamed. It was my choice in the end. So yeah, this is it. 🐾

CYA!