Hello everyone. I am blogging here for past few days. once I used to say I can never start blogging I mean its so boring and all. now I am here writing and reading everyday and feeling good about it. 

This covid changed everything in my life literally. I lost my father due to corona complications. It hurts like hell to even write it. Before corona everything was going so good in life. I had a beautiful family me, bhai, mumma and papa, a typical middle class family. And then corona happened. You know at first I thought he is going to be okay. Even he used to say that I am going to come home soon don't worry. He was hospitalized. He was in ICU. Everyday I prayed to god that please god save him. I had to talk too much to him. I loved him the most without a doubt. He was indeed the best. He is still the best for me and will always be. I have never in my life saw my father cry but  when he was in the hospital he cried whenever he saw us may be he knew inside that he is not going to make it. Everyday we waited for him. For a whole month we thought it's okay everything is going to be okay soon. God is with us. But I guess god had other plans. I am still coping with my loss. And that's why I thought blogging will help me in that.

I still remember every bit of that day. It plays like a loop in my head. Bhai told me that papa is no more. I cried and cried and all I wished that this can't be true he will come and hold me. I will again be able to see his smiling face. I will again be able to talk to him and laugh with him. He really had a very good sense of humor. I always just had to tell him what I want and he always tried his best to give me that. 

I still blame myself for whatever happened. May I could have saved him. May be I could have done better. May be its all just my fault that he is not here with us anymore. Life told me the importance of parents in our life. My dreams are incomplete now without him. I had too many things to tell him, to gift. I wanted to do so much for him. but nothing matters now.