I almost run away from there straight to my bed… I didn't even had a courage to message him…
After that 2 weeks had passed and I just couldn't collect enough courage to message him. And never did he messaged me. I was so angry at myself, but atleast I have to say ‘sorry’ to him for my behaviour. I seriously did not intended to do anything like that. I did not expect his forgiveness. Him getting a little bit angry on me is fair. But we had 8 years long friendship, so he can forget my one mistake, right! And he will forgive me, I had a that much confidence on our friendship. With that encouragement I messaged him, “Hi” and to my surprise I got the reply within a Seconds. He messaged, “Hi, I wanted to meet you, are you free today. It's urgent matter…”
I knew it, he will forget everything and forgive me. He replied to my message as usual. So I said, “Ok” to meet and we decided to meet at 4:00 o'clock that day. In excitement I reached early at our meeting spot. But again to my surprise he was earlier than me…
We greet each other with smiles and everything felt normal as usual. I got relief by that. He started, “ I wanna share one news with you. I had a break up with my girlfriend..” and I was like, “F**k! Is it because of me. I know what should had happened, he might have told her about that kiss, because he is loyal and all. But she might have didn't understand the situation and have feel betrayed. And they broke up. I am at the fault for everything…” so, I almost shout in a panic, “look, l am seriously sorry, let me tell her everything clearly. I tell her that it's all my mistake. I was the one who kissed you, and you are innocent. So don't worry. I'll convince her, give me some time.” My guilt got stronger and I was on verge of tears. He passed me the water bottle. Looking at me he said," relaxed, I was the one who dumped her. And Yes it's true that you are the reason. Because of you everything happened. Because, I love you. I didn't realised that in all our friendship habitat. I lost my feelings for you, in that mixture of friendship. But now everything is clear. I truly love you." His eyes are focused on me. And he said, “Say something.” I was shocked as I just have got hit by electricity. I was sure of two things. First he is just confused over all this love thing because of the kiss. And second thing, “Not only his! But I can't be a girlfriend to anyone. I am simply lack all that girlfriend qualities.”
I tried to make him understand that, talk him out from all this confusion. I told him, He is just missunderstood the feeling of friendship, feeling of liking for the love. Just because, I did something idiotic, it had made him confused. As because he thinks that he knows me well and gets comfortable with me. It doesn't have to mean that he had those kind of feelings for me. I tried to tell him that, I am not a girlfriend material and as he will realise it over time he will get bored and eventually will broke up and not only that but we also be at a risk to ruin our friendship.
He said, 'why you're saying like that. Is he lack somthing, he is ready to change. But he didn't want to continue this friendship anymore. As he can't think me as just friend anymore.'
I said, “it's not you, but me.” He just didn't wanted to hear that b**lshit. So I said calmly, “see, it's just the confusion and spur of the moment. If we didn't contact eachothers for atleast 2 years, he will forget me. It's that much easy. There's nothing like love or anything in between us. We just need 2 years to forget all this feelings.”
He got little angry and said, “ what if I don't forget it atall. Even after 2 years.” I really didn't mean that we have to broke our friendship like this. I just intended to talk him out of that love b**lshit. But he just got it all wrong again. So I said, “will see those things after 2 years then..” I told him in a calm voice as, “I am not the person you suppose to fall in love with. You deserve someone way better than me. I am just a imperfection.” He stood up and said, “will definitely meet again after a 2 years. Until then promise you will wait for me.” I really got stunned by his response and I did messed it all up again. He turned back as he walked away, took a glance at me and continued. I just set there watching him in a realisation that I just have ruined my 8 years old friendship and probably not gonna see my best friend again. Cause only 27 days are enough to forget someone and we had deal for 2 years….
- End.
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