Ok so this one is a true story.
During my school days, when I was 13, there was this handsome guy in my class that I had a huge crush on😅. He had always been a close friend of mine since kindergarten. He used to come to my house for projects, plays and all the extracurricular activities we had to do in groups.
We were pretty close but he didn't know that I liked him. There were times when I used to find excuses to talk to him. Even my friends noticed the change in my behavior to him. We would always be the class monitors and spent most of our day together in school. Even in seating arrangements, I would try to get him as my bench-partner. Then as it became obvious to our friends, they started teasing me by his name's initials and some stupid short form of his name(as it always happens in school😂).
What I didn't know was that he too liked me but didn't tell me thinking it would affect our friendship. Then in 10th class there was a friendship day party. As we had the same group of friends, we both went to the party. And the famous game Truth-n-Dare begun. He was given a dare to propose any one of the girls in our group he liked.
What I wasn't expecting was that he would propose me. He went down on his knee and gave me a rose🙈 (I will confess that I still blush thinking about it). Still I didn't take it seriously thinking it was just for the game. When it was my turn, my friends knowing that I too liked him asked me to dance with him. We danced together on the song Samjhavaan (from humpty sharma ki dulhaniya). After that day we started stealing glances at each other and even had some awkward moments😅.
Then one day after my class he returned my notes and told me to check the last page after returning home. I just thought it would be some correction or something he had done and didn't think much about it. Then at night when I remembered, I opened the last page and guess what? There was an envelope with my name on it !
On opening it, I found a love letter in which he had explained his feelings for me! Aaanndd also proposed me to be his girlfriend !!!! I was overjoyed to find that my feelings were reciprocated.... N I too wrote him a letter accepting his proposal. When he got my letter he was very happy. We used to talk daily on facebook, instagram and even spent some time together (not alone but with our friends who would leave us alone whenever we went out ).
But things never go as planned 😌. My family is a bit conservative and accidentally my mom found one of our letters. My dad was also upset and asked me to stop talking to him. They explained to me that this was not the age for all these things. We were still young and should focus on our studies and career. We could think about all this later after we get mature enough and become successful.
The next day, I told him that we should stop seeing each other. He was not at all happy with my choice but respected my decision. Day by day we drifted apart. I couldn't be the same with him as I was before. After high school we lost touch.
But we were fated to meet again. He joined the same coaching for the medical entrance exam. Again it became awkward. But we had to see each other due to our friend circle. We decided that we would remain good friends. It was difficult as I still had feelings for him. He was after all my FIRST LOVE.
A few years have passed, we both are in different colleges pursuing our careers in different cities. We still talk to each other. He's still the one who wishes me on my birthday exactly at 12 am. But now its not the same. I still have some feelings for him but now I'm not sure if it's the same for him. I'm afraid that if I confess we would loose whatever remaining bond and friendship we have. We are just friends now. And I'm happy that he's a part of my life, however little that may be.
There's still a part of me that thinks that I should not have let him go, should have found a reason to stay with him. But the deed is done. I can't break my promise to my parents and neither can let go of my feelings. I still wish that one day I could bare my soul to him and maybe have a second chance.
But there's also a part of me that thinks that it was the right thing to do. We would be distracted and could not have given our best to become what we are today.
Maybe there will be a second chance in the future for us or maybe not, but I'm always going to remember him and I hope he'll also. It wasn't just meant to be.
