The willingness to help others and thereby ending up in negative situations or what is known by the name ‘ricochet effect’ is a frequent experience of those who possess a kind and caring heart. But then arise this question, why does this happen to such people? We need to understand the dynamics of how and why the ricochet effect happens to find the answer to this question and as I said in the last blog, we shall reach a solution together.

Empathy is a quality which anyone with a kind heart has and putting oneself in other's shoes lets them understand other people's emotions and situations better. So it is quite natural that when they find someone in need of help, they extend their hand. But when I say people in need of help, it doesn't always have to be a bad situation. People crave to be loved and to be taken care of. So when a kind soul unconditionally gives that support to them, people tend to stay with them. But as mentioned in my last post, most of the times people only need this healing aura of such people till it is comforting to them or till they feel better and heal. And that's how people with a caring heart end up in pain when they try to help others and are taken for granted by most people.

Sometimes it so happens that the problem of others becomes the problem of the person who showed up to help them. Don't get confused here but here is another truth bomb, empathy can sometimes be a curse if it doesn't have a limit. Yeah, you heard that right. When a caring person listens to the hardships and sorrows of another person they may deeply get involved or troubled by it. So when dealing with it, they try everything possible by them to get the other person out of it. Maybe such an effort with that much intensity is not required in that situation, but this person who wishes to make things better gets deeply and emotionally involved with another person's mess. So this indirectly answers our first question: why does the ricochet effect happen to caring people? Voila! we have a solution! let me make it clear for you.

We know that the world we live is not fair to all of us. Every individual has their own issues and problems. But when you are involved in dealing with personal issues of others as friends or family, a certain level of objectivity has to be maintained. I know it's complicated, but If you are a person who is kind and caring to others, be cautious while helping others. When you get emotionally involved in a situation, there is the possibility that the whole thing could weigh u down. Also, with the concern in making things better, the efforts you make maybe greater than what the situation demands. Also, you may step into a situation that can potentially be larger or greater for you to deal with, i.e, the time and energy you invest could be drained by it and can exhaust you. All this will gradually lead you to a regrettable predicament for yourself. And boom!! you have the ricochet effect.

So the first part of our solution to help others without suffering the terrible ricochet effect is self-reflection. When we find ourselves in situations where people require our presence or help, assess and evaluate the situation thorughly with your cognitive and emotional abilities. Make sure that you don't have to push the limits of your own abilities while dealing with it. Don't throw yourself into situations that can drain and exhaust you mentally and emotionally. Remeber, you can't pour from an empty cup; you have to take care of yourself first and be in a better position mentally and emotionally if you want to help others.This realisation will protect you from getting too deeply involved in any situation and that's how you maintain objectivity. Also, we should understand that not every situation require our intervention. Being a nice person doesn't mean you have to be there for everyone and everything. Sometimes things can resolve itself without any effort from your side. So keep a check on yourself and don't let situations take control of you. 

Thus we have first part of our solution. Never thought I have to go for another post to complete the topic. So in the next post we will explore the last piece of this puzzle. See you soon with that.