Well guys my name is Ankit and this is my first blog and may be last.Before I start my blog let me tell you what Atonement is “it means the action of making amend for a wrong” and I will tell you at the end how it relates to my blog.

let me share my story-

3 years ago I met this wonderful girl with curly hair with whom I fell In love with .I can’t share her name let suppose her name is Moni.Well I still love her truly madly and deeply.She is mesmerising,Majestic and perfect in every way.After spending 3 years with her,A time came which we call life ,we had some fight like everyone.Well it became a distance relationship due to my job and her studies.I am a Sr. Mechanical Engineer.So there a guy comes in her life and she started dating him well she told me that.Well when we were in love and still I am, we used to laugh how people breakup by saying “ you deserve better” and I just got that sentence recently ….well what I don’t understand is if you love someone how can you leave them traumatisEd..::Ohhhhh But she did..According to me love is care and if they leave you dying than it’s not love obviously . Nonetheless after she left me I received a call from her new bf not to text her and I abused him like hell and he didn’t had the guts to call me from his number.I tried to reach him again but  could not and I asked her to give me his no. But she didn’t but she did gave my no though.,So that I can feel devastated.What I don’t understand is if she loved me or pretended to love me … Whatever than what was the point to giving my no after leaving me high and dry and to feel bad After giving everything.But you know I still miss her and I will till the end of my last breathe …Guys relationship are not that difficult people are just too lazy to make sacrifices,time and put in effort that I have learned from my big brother “Achal Bhaiya”…

well the point is If a perfect girl like her can do this how can I trust other girls….So I am gonna be afraid my whole rest of the life and marriage well marriage is out of picture because my parents are well aware of this situation..Because I will always think that If she can leave me anyone can..She changed her no. and I can’t reach her may be through this blog.

Well it hurts and you know why because I love her , because I am on the verge of loosing my mind.

I remember this everyday,When I let her free from my heart,It looks like , I am the only one who stands to get hurt…At the end I want to say if you wanna have fun get swimming lessons or job or dog..That’s all don’t use another person heart for fun ..Well I just wrote a poem I am not good at it but still I tried.Here it is 

So many sleepless night I prayed to you,

My heart an ashtray and I lost my mind;

you bring the smokes,I have got the time,I  want to scream ,I want to laugh , I want to close my eyes,

i want to hide somewhere that’s hard to find,

Stop wasting time trying to shape your life,

its alright goodbye good bye..

well the fucking atonement is sometimes we cannot correct the wrong baby and this is the scenario where you cannot correct it because even if someone will show me the path to go in right direction after facing this nobody can heal this pain …I am afraid not even doctors .Its wrong..

bye bye.Tata Tata.

Thank you guys………